Children's Song

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Wayfarer
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2018/09/26 18:33:15 (permalink)

Children's Song

This is the one I posted the other day and then immediately took down because . . . well, mostly because my voice was so bad on it. Anyhow, Steve here did some remixing and managed to use something like Melodyne I guess to add some background vocals from my original vocal during the chorus sections, plus he added some piano and woodwinds and whatnot. (Sorry Steve but I took out the Rhodes. For some reason that track just wasn't working for me, and I only used the woodwinds and pizzicato strings in certain sections.) My voice still stinks and always will in this life, but it sounds way better now.
 
The Mind at the Bottom of the Well
 
When I was just a little tike
Training wheels still on my bike
I’d ask my daddy, “What’s the deal,
How do you know what’s real?”
 
He said:
“Sitting in an apple tree
We marvel how it came to be
Life is just a mystery
But aren’t you glad you’re going through with me?”
 
I raise my hand before my face
And wonder how it moves through space
The mind at the bottom of the well—
Maybe he could tell
 
Or write it on the bathroom wall:
“We were never here at all”
The microcosm ain’t so small
The big is small, the small is big, the universe is just a twig
 
Swing a June Bug on a string
Twirl it round to make it sing
Screechin’ out a melody:
“Swinging me into the sky blue, that will never satisfy you”
(Nope)
 
At night before I’d go to sleep
And ask the Lord my soul to keep
I’d bite a few bed bugs cos—
They need to know who’s boss
#1

23 Replies Related Threads

    msmcleod
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    Re: Children's Song 2018/09/26 23:49:29 (permalink)
    Sounds good to me. 
     
    And absolutely nothing wrong with your voice - perfect for the song.
     
    If you're new to hearing your own voice recorded, it does sound odd (cos it sounds so different from how you hear it through your head) and it's very easy to be over critical.  Just keep singing and recording until you get used to how it sounds.
     

    Mark McLeod
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    #2
    Leadfoot
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    Re: Children's Song 2018/09/27 00:06:48 (permalink)
    Hey Wayfarer, this was very enjoyable! I thought your vocals were just fine. Great finger pickin too! It's a really fun song to listen to. Great job man!
    #3
    SupaReels Music
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    Re: Children's Song 2018/09/27 07:37:13 (permalink)
    Sounds good to me too .... and I like the title more. Funny thing was that I would have left the Rhodes off too, but thought as I'd done it anyway, I'd leave it up to you .
     
    Take care mate
     
    Steve
    post edited by SupaReels Music - 2018/09/27 10:56:09

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    #4
    daryl1968
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    Re: Children's Song 2018/09/27 10:11:48 (permalink)
    This is a great song - love it. Is it an original?
    #5
    dougk1824
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    Re: Children's Song 2018/09/27 14:44:31 (permalink)
    That's a nifty tune - I really enjoyed the acoustic guitar.  I thought your vocal worked well on this song.
    #6
    bjornpdx
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    Re: Children's Song 2018/09/27 19:28:10 (permalink)
    Bill
    I thought the 1st version was fine but the revised one does sound better. The higher notes are
    a challenge so maybe use a lower note within the chord, unless that changes the melody too much.
    I really like the playfulness of the lyrics. Really good guitar work as usual.


    I'm hardly the person you'd want for vocal advice, but this is just from a casual listener point of view.

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    #7
    eph221
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    Re: Children's Song 2018/09/27 23:41:34 (permalink)
    Your lyrics are outstanding.  Good job

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    #8
    Wayfarer
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    Re: Children's Song 2018/09/28 02:37:11 (permalink)
    Thanks everyone for listening. My voice is only good for blues and such, but I like to write all kinds of things, so you may have to put up with it more often if you keep encouraging me. 
     
    Yes, I wrote it Daryl.
     
    Bill
    #9
    daryl1968
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    Re: Children's Song 2018/09/28 06:20:08 (permalink)
    Wayfarer
     
    Yes, I wrote it Daryl.
     
    Bill


    Great stuff
    #10
    kennywtelejazz
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    Re: Children's Song 2018/09/28 10:41:47 (permalink)
    Hey there Mr Sausage Fingers ...I mean Bill ,
    I happen to think this tune is as cool as cool can be .
    The guitar part sounds real nice too me ( chord changes and the Recording )
    Loved the melodies you used for the songs lyrics ...I thought you were very close in a lot of places ...
    At least you have a voice I don't
    Keep working on it .
     
    Kenny
     

                       
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    #11
    Wookiee
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    Re: Children's Song 2018/09/28 14:02:31 (permalink)
    Bill nothing wrong with this, it sounds fine here, I would say there was writhing in agony or torment experienced here with your vocals

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    Johnbee58
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    Re: Children's Song 2018/09/28 19:48:12 (permalink)
    Delightful tune.  Your voice is perfect for it.  You sound like a gentle giant.
     
    John B.
     
     

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    #13
    Wayfarer
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    Re: Children's Song 2018/09/29 23:31:06 (permalink)
    It's just a cheap $600 Washburn WCG70SCEG-0 guitar Ken. It's not real responsive (as in you have to really hit the strings hard to make hammer-ons and pull-offs ring out, and slapped harmonics are impossible), but it's got a really nice tone. It actually sounds better tonally than that Taylor 314 I had. I'm saving my money for a nice custom model guitar with a 1 7/8" nut width for fingerpicking.
     
    Thanks all.
    #14
    vechung
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    Re: Children's Song 2018/10/01 02:59:25 (permalink)
    Nice guitar playing and good finger picking.  Nothing wrong with your voice and we don't hear bass vocals very often.  Nice job.

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    #15
    Jesse Screed
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    Re: Children's Song 2018/10/01 22:54:30 (permalink)
    if anyone ever asks me to give a definition of authentic
     
    I would tell them to listen to this
     
     
    if only I could play guitar like this
     
     
    this is so cool
     
    who wrote this?
    #16
    Wayfarer
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    Re: Children's Song 2018/10/03 00:08:46 (permalink)
    Thanks Vicente.
     
    Jesse, that's the best compliment I've ever gotten. Thank so much!
     
    And yes, I wrote it.
     
    Bill
    #17
    the_user_formally_known_as_glennbo
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    Re: Children's Song 2018/10/07 13:45:55 (permalink)
    Love the guitar, and your vocals sound fine to me. I should use my acoustic guitar more.

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    #18
    emeraldsoul
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    Re: Children's Song 2018/10/07 22:44:38 (permalink)
    First off, cool song. Captures some fun childhood mystery stuff. With a bit of cosmicness.
     
    Guitar is first rate. As per usual. I like the piano touches as well!
     
    The only thing to polish the vocals a little bit is volume automate down some of the ssss's which get just a tad sibilant. If you turn it up you can hear them. This is very editable!
     
    Lastly, kudos on having the mind that could generate this. Totally fun.
     
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    #19
    Jesse Screed
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    Re: Children's Song 2018/10/08 23:54:13 (permalink)
    were it not for children, adults would have nothing to live for
    #20
    Freddy J
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    Re: Children's Song 2018/10/09 00:20:58 (permalink)
    I love this number!  The lyrics are absolutely terrific and the melody really caries the song.  The guitar playing is also terrific and the sparse instrumentation really adds to the overall song by concentrating attention on the lyrics and vocal.  BTW, your vocal sound very good in the version I heard.  It isn't always necessary to reach each and every note or to hold notes perfectly for 20 minutes at top volume.  Rather, in MHO, it is the presentation and delivery!  There have been many famous singers/musicians that didn't have what might be perceived as perfect voices but they could deliver and sell a song.  Does the name Louise Armstrong strike a familiar note.  So go ahead and use your voice and post more song with vocals.  This one was great!
    #21
    jimfogle
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    Re: Children's Song 2018/10/09 00:43:09 (permalink)
    It is a very cute, well written song.  I like you're singing on it and the sparse arrangement.  Very interesting melody.  I hope you'll be inspired to write more songs like this one.

    Jim F
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    #22
    jimfogle
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    Re: Children's Song 2018/10/09 00:49:44 (permalink)
    I forgot to say one thing, I REALLY appreciate your listing a genre.
     
    (Gets on soapbox)  There is a large diversity of song genres available on this forum, some I like a lot, some not so much.  It is nice to have a hint about what I might hear to help me decide what to listen to.  (Steps off soapbox).

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    #23
    Wayfarer
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    Re: Children's Song 2018/10/09 23:15:49 (permalink)
    Thanks for not hating it guys. If I could sing as well as some of you, my size 15 feet would seem tiny compared to the size of my head, which only goes to show the good Lord knew what he was doing when he gave me this voice. I still wouldn't sing in public, but at least I'm not afraid to sing in front ya'll here anymore. :)
     
    Bill
    #24
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