"Fortress"

Strong writing, Jeff. Happy and melancholy at the same time. Some nice arrangement choices.

I would trim some of the upper high end off of the snare, as it seems to be the top end element and it distracts from the somewhat buried vocals. In fact, I would think about a more electronic pop kit than that one (Addictive Drums, by the way?) with a tighter sound.

James, thanks for the technical feedback, that is always something I need suggestions on. The drums here are Battery 3, sometimes I use superior drummers mixed in there, but not this time. Snare is just a few random snare sounds put together, one of them is sort of like a tom actually. I'll have to check out Addictive Drums, I can always use more options and samples for drums. 

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 Ian, I do see what you mean by "undetected" and "defenses", mainly that if I were to somehow say "victorious" it would be a clearer message. I think I was too in love with how clever those lines sounded and rhymed, I always looked past it. So far this is the best alternative I can come up with:

 "I will pass through these defenses
 I'll prove ______________________ 
 Fortress you can't hold me back
 This story's not a tragic act 
 Even if the tears are flowing"

 I didn't have a cold, but I was a bit lazy when I recorded these vocals. If you can, listen to my other songs on youtube (fantasy, pressure, one step), and see if you hear the same thing. Perhaps it's just the way I sing. 

 Thanks again for the feedback and kind words, I really appreciate it!

Hi.

I'm a newbie on the forum and with SONAR LE, so I explored the forum and stumbled across your song.

Very encouraging and inspiring lyrics - just what I needed to hear today! Thanks!

This world needs to hear words like in this song.

I find my cheap PA system a bit over bassy when the EQ is set on all 0dB, so on my PA with the aforesaid settings your song sounded a bit over bassy, but it could be because of my stupid PA. I'll try to listen to your song through my flat response headphones later.

I love the whole song, the melody and the structure.
I imagine that adding some subtle 8-beat-long 2-note (playing the tonic and fifth) guitar power chords with slight distortion/overdrive effects at each first beat of the chorus would compliment the chorus.

Ian Ferrin

The other small critique is that you sound like you have a cold. I don't know if this is your processing or just your voice, or maybe you did have a cold.

You should hear MY nose! And I don't have a cold. I have to practice singing while holding my nose closed to stop me from singing through my nose and create new habits singing from other areas like from my stomach.

Wow! What a song!

Please give me permission to download it for myself to encourage me on days like these.

This should be a hit for sure!

toughest thing in the world to write a pop song, you have written a great one here. you can easily imagine this performed by some top band with an awesome production. not that yours is shabby, but you know what i mean! a summer well spent!

I LOVE this chorus man!

TBH, i didnt like the intro verse,but when I listened back I loved it.

I kept wanting to hear a crunching electric guitar to come in,anway,

LOVE this chorus....!!

Cian

I like it. Nice job all the way around