Garyline - Quite different now, hope it sounds better than earlier today

This song is in really rough shape, but I'm wondering whether it might be worth working on further and hoping someone will give it a listen and say whether or not they think it's got any appeal under all the present mess
 
Thank you for your bravery,
LJ
 
P.S. I know I'd have to record again from scratch - I'm just wondering whether the underlying song material is worth the effort.
 
Edit: I tried to make some improvements this morning. They didn't really work, so I've spent the day trying again. Here is the newest link (Sept. 5, 3rd version): https://soundcloud.com/laura-thomson-723335445
 
Thanks for your patience.
LJ
 
 

eph221, you've always been so kind to me. Thank you so much for that very generous comment.
 
I worried all week about posting this song, knowing what a mess I made of this version of the recording, and also knowing that this version is the only one I have, because "the dog ate the individual tracks" and so, to change anything, I have to start all over. 
 
All I have left of this song on my hard drive is one sort-of-mixed track, this one. In a way, I'm glad I at least made this crummy, tinny mix of tracks 1-24 down to Track 25 before lightning struck. I still don't remember why I did that. Anyway, I'm glad I did because, no matter how misguided the mix, that's the only track that still exists of the song at all.
 
Sheesh, I wish I could just play and sing and some magic power would do all the recording, mixing, mastering and saving to Fort Knox for me. I'd sleep a lot better.
 
Thanks again for your kindness, eph 221 :)
LJ
 

This song made me feel like, f**k Gary!!!
 
F**k him in his stoopid assh**le!!!
 
Nice one!

I say yes, you are a great lyricist (I hope people really take the time to listen to the lyrics.), a great songwriter, and a great musician.  I definitely dig the guitar at 1:51.  I love the timing changes too.  I say go and go hard.  You might have to start over, but you have your reference track right here.  But, I know how hard it is to start over.
 
Jesse Q. Screed

C'mon, Laura, you know it's worthwhile...   Despite the mix it still sounds like it comes from the same place as the more recent songs you've posted.   Go for it.   
 
 

I tried to make some improvements
 

Newest link: https://soundcloud.com/laura-thomson-723335445
 

mgh, thank you so much for the encouragement; I really appreciate it (as Donald Trump would say, "Believe me!").
 
The links were great - I hadn't heard either of them! Live and learn :) 
 
Thanks again mgh, 
LJ
 
 

Ok, one of the most interesting things I have heard up here for a long time.  The overall mix seems cluttered but the way the vocals lay in there is just freaking me out.  I don't know if I have quite heard anything like this.  I will be looking for your name up here more often.  You are definitely worth listening to.  Yes, I would do this over.  I don't know what I would change, maybe nothing.  I' am too confused right now.  That is good.

You got a thing going on here. Impressive stuff and really interesting and unexpected directions.
 
If you want some help producing/mixing, PM me.

I love this.  Fun!  Needs some help, including perhaps a bit of the psychiatric variety.  The time changes into the 4/4 heavier sections make me smile every time.  Look forward to hearing this with some more "clarity".

skinnybones lampshade
 
jamesyoyo: Wow, that's a very kind and generous offer!  If I ever get brave enough, I hope to take you up on it. I will work on getting the nerve together.

 
Don't be down on yourself, of course you are brave enough...you posted stuff on a fair but tough board for comments.
 
Your stuff is cool and interesting, full of endless possibilities. You only need a little production guidance and help to make it shine some more.

Another cool one, Laura! You have a very deft hand with  harmony, I bow to your mastery. I like the overall sound quite a lot but some additional clarity would help with understanding some of the lyrics. Seriously though, whatever issues you have with mixing pales in the face of your talent. You should write an opera or something.

Just coming back around to this...   I do think your changes were all positive.  Yeah, it could still use a little fixin' here and there, but the overall mix does seem to sit better than I remember from the first go-around.   It's another unique song in the Laura collection.