olemon
Max Output Level: -75 dBFS
- Total Posts : 768
- Joined: 2011/10/27 05:35:19
- Status: offline
Give Me A Lawn Chair, Honey - Remixed 5/1/14
Based on your feedback I tried to fatten the drums and get vocals to fit better. I also changed the bass pattern. The Sound Cloud link is to the latest version. Thanks. Another original. It's a country-rock kind of song. I haven't posted here or listened to other songs here in a while. After reading the discussion in the Coffee House, about the song forum, I'm posting a tune. I'll try to catch up on listening too. I am using software whenever I can for instruments I don't play. In Sonar I'm recording my vocal and guitar, editing, and mixing there. https://soundcloud.com/blushasta-music/give-me-a-lawn-chair-honey
post edited by olemon - 2014/05/01 11:13:19
https://www.reverbnation.com/scottholson Platinum, Studio One 3 Pro, Win 10 (x64), AMD FX-8350, ASUS M5A97 R2.0, 16GB, RME UCX, Digimax DP88, Faderport 8, Revive Audio Mod Studio Channel, Vintage Audio M72, Summit Audio TLA-50, KRK Rokit 5 G2 Monitors, Guitars "If you wait till the last minute, it only takes a minute."
|
Lynn
Max Output Level: -14 dBFS
- Total Posts : 6117
- Joined: 2003/11/12 18:36:16
- Location: Kansas City, MO
- Status: offline
Re: Give Me A Lawn Chair, Honey
2014/03/01 16:40:59
(permalink)
This is a very pleasant song to listen to and seems well suited for the country rock crowd. It's nearly radio-ready, and you have the tools to make it so. It's well balanced, but overall, it sounds thin, to me. ProChannel has some nice tools for fattening up these tracks, such as the Console Emulator and some nice compressors. A few tweaks from these tools can take this to the next level. Of course, this is highly subjective, and you have a good song on your hands regardless.
|
olemon
Max Output Level: -75 dBFS
- Total Posts : 768
- Joined: 2011/10/27 05:35:19
- Status: offline
Re: Give Me A Lawn Chair, Honey
2014/03/02 08:50:17
(permalink)
Thanks Lynn. Glad you enjoyed the tune and I think I know what you mean about the mix being thin. I've acquired some mastering plug-ins, used TrackS on this, and am using M. Senior's Mixing Secrets to try and correct my bad habits, along with help from you and others. I know I'm making progress and will keep going:)
post edited by olemon - 2014/03/03 08:16:49
|
Guitarhacker
Max Output Level: 0 dBFS
- Total Posts : 24398
- Joined: 2007/12/07 12:51:18
- Location: NC
- Status: offline
Re: Give Me A Lawn Chair, Honey
2014/03/02 09:37:06
(permalink)
This is a good song.... I pm'd most of my comments.
The vocals seem to be separate from the song like it was dropped in rather than being a part of the mix like it needs to be.....I'd like to hear the vox set better in the mix. Maybe a tad of verb on the track, and drop a few db.... This vocal has a 60's country feel in how forward it is in the mix. They used to mix the singer well up front back then.
Overall, good tune headed in the right direction.
My website & music: www.herbhartley.com MC4/5/6/X1e.c, on a Custom DAW Focusrite Firewire Saffire Interface BMI/NSAI "Just as the blade chooses the warrior, so too, the song chooses the writer "
|
bapu
Max Output Level: 0 dBFS
- Total Posts : 86000
- Joined: 2006/11/25 21:23:28
- Location: Thousand Oaks, CA
- Status: offline
Re: Give Me A Lawn Chair, Honey
2014/03/02 12:18:18
(permalink)
Lyrics are great.
I personally would like a different drum kit. This kit seems a bit thin at times. Not terrible but....
Good vocals and guitars.
Bass is bit lost in the mix IMO.
|
spacealf
Max Output Level: -54 dBFS
- Total Posts : 2133
- Joined: 2010/11/18 17:44:34
- Status: offline
Re: Give Me A Lawn Chair, Honey
2014/03/02 13:39:29
(permalink)
Well, the song is okay and fine but for the mix to me. The vocals are too forward along with the drums and although the bass to me is there also, it just seems as if the vocals and drums are just too loud compared to the rest of the music. Just give me a lawn chair, a bottle of wine and the stars above................... Okay, so no it is not my song with any of the words, but to me that is the way the mix sounds to me with the vocals and drums. Thin, I would not think it is though. 
|
ralphwiggum
Max Output Level: -85 dBFS
- Total Posts : 295
- Joined: 2007/05/29 20:49:42
- Location: New Jersey, USA
- Status: offline
Re: Give Me A Lawn Chair, Honey
2014/03/02 17:31:06
(permalink)
I think I've already said before that I really like your lyrics Scott. I think writing creative lyrics that have good cadence and rhyme in any interesting way is one of the hardest skills to master and I think that's your strongest point. But the song is well constructed too in a very catchy way. I also like the bridge/breakdown near the end. It helps the last chorus have more emphasis. I think it could be a radio song.
My only criticism is that the mix sounds very dry and separated. I think a lot of that has to do with the bass line. I love simple one-note bass parts most of the time. But this might need a little walk to it. Not so much as to step over the song but enough to give the verses and choruses some variation.
Other than that I really like it Scott!!
|
theguitarplayer
Max Output Level: -40 dBFS
- Total Posts : 3523
- Joined: 2007/05/04 22:59:59
- Location: Kissimmee, Florida
- Status: offline
Re: Give Me A Lawn Chair, Honey
2014/03/02 18:02:28
(permalink)
Well, everyone else has given you everything that I could mention, so I'll just say very nice start to a perfect ending, once all tweaks are endured. Like the lyrics and your vocals sound very nice. Hope to hear the finished song soon.
Peace and Blessings, John
Sonar X3 Studio, Acid Pro 7, Sound Forge Pro 9, Sonicfire Pro 5, Kinetic 2, Cinescore, HP Pavilion dv7, CORE i7, Q-740, 8gb Ram, Windows 7- 64 bit, 4 tb mem , Audiobox USB, Digitech GNX4, Gibson SG1 & SG3, Martin J65M, Washburn Custom Cumberland, 3 Marshall Amps, Casio 365 Keyboard, M-Audio Axiom AIR Mini 32, Behringer Truth Monitors, Garritan Aria, EWQLCC, Alloy 2, Ozone 6, Melodyne http://www.soundclick.com/JohnRKennedy
|
The Band19 
Max Output Level: -47.5 dBFS
- Total Posts : 2795
- Joined: 2012/05/29 19:21:32
- Status: offline
Re: Give Me A Lawn Chair, Honey
2014/03/02 18:53:47
(permalink)
"Give Me A Lawn Chair, Honey", no, "Give me a bullet to bite on, and I'll make believe it's you..." Nice tune, puts the ry in Country! 
Sittin downtown in a railway station one toke over the line.
|
Ruben
Max Output Level: -81 dBFS
- Total Posts : 472
- Joined: 2003/11/06 08:12:42
- Location: Where they play the West Coast sound
- Status: offline
Re: Give Me A Lawn Chair, Honey
2014/03/02 21:41:38
(permalink)
Good country song. I have to echo what most have written - vocals too far out front and the drums are kinda thin. As far as the bass, it's too far back in the mix, but I would like to hear a different pattern, something that matches the kick pattern rather than 1/8 notes all the way through. That will change the feel, and maybe what you have now is what you want, but this is how it strikes me. Nice work and good vocals!
|
timidi
Max Output Level: -21 dBFS
- Total Posts : 5449
- Joined: 2006/04/11 12:55:15
- Location: SE Florida
- Status: offline
Re: Give Me A Lawn Chair, Honey
2014/03/02 22:04:28
(permalink)
Like this. Nice.
My only suggestion would be to paint the 'lawn chair'/backyard image some more. After that one line (Give Me A Lawn Chair, Honey) it's just another love song.
|
olemon
Max Output Level: -75 dBFS
- Total Posts : 768
- Joined: 2011/10/27 05:35:19
- Status: offline
Re: Give Me A Lawn Chair, Honey
2014/03/03 07:56:22
(permalink)
Guitarhacker
The vocals seem to be separate from the song like it was dropped in rather than being a part of the mix like it needs to be.....I'd like to hear the vox set better in the mix. Maybe a tad of verb on the track, and drop a few db.... This vocal has a 60's country feel in how forward it is in the mix. They used to mix the singer well up front back then.
Overall, good tune headed in the right direction.
bapu
Lyrics are great.
I personally would like a different drum kit. This kit seems a bit thin at times. Not terrible but....
Good vocals and guitars.
Bass is bit lost in the mix IMO.
Herb, Babu, Thanks for the listening and for the constructive feedback. It's fairly unanimous...vocals and bass need help. I can fatten the drums too.
|
olemon
Max Output Level: -75 dBFS
- Total Posts : 768
- Joined: 2011/10/27 05:35:19
- Status: offline
Re: Give Me A Lawn Chair, Honey
2014/03/03 08:07:35
(permalink)
spacealf
Well, the song is okay and fine but for the mix to me. The vocals are too forward along with the drums and although the bass to me is there also, it just seems as if the vocals and drums are just too loud compared to the rest of the music.
ralphwiggum
I think I've already said before that I really like your lyrics Scott. I think writing creative lyrics that have good cadence and rhyme in any interesting way is one of the hardest skills to master and I think that's your strongest point. But the song is well constructed too in a very catchy way. I also like the bridge/breakdown near the end. It helps the last chorus have more emphasis. I think it could be a radio song.
My only criticism is that the mix sounds very dry and separated. I think a lot of that has to do with the bass line.
Other than that I really like it Scott!!
theguitarplayer
Well, everyone else has given you everything that I could mention, so I'll just say very nice start to a perfect ending, once all tweaks are endured. Like the lyrics and your vocals sound very nice. Hope to hear the finished song soon. Alf, Ralph, John Thanks. I appreciate your comments and constructive criticism. I was conflicted about the bass pattern I chose, and setting the vocals in the mix is always tough for me...because it's my voice? Anyway, I've got some work to do on this and again, I thank you for listening.
post edited by olemon - 2014/03/03 08:16:26
|
olemon
Max Output Level: -75 dBFS
- Total Posts : 768
- Joined: 2011/10/27 05:35:19
- Status: offline
Re: Give Me A Lawn Chair, Honey
2014/03/03 08:17:22
(permalink)
The Band19
"Give Me A Lawn Chair, Honey", no, "Give me a bullet to bite on, and I'll make believe it's you..."
Nice tune, puts the ry in Country!
Ruben
Good country song.
I have to echo what most have written - vocals too far out front and the drums are kinda thin. As far as the bass, it's too far back in the mix, but I would like to hear a different pattern, something that matches the kick pattern rather than 1/8 notes all the way through. That will change the feel, and maybe what you have now is what you want, but this is how it strikes me.
Nice work and good vocals!
timidi
Like this. Nice.
My only suggestion would be to paint the 'lawn chair'/backyard image some more. After that one line (Give Me A Lawn Chair, Honey) it's just another love song.
I hear 'ya and I thank 'ya. The consensus is telling. I'll work on fixing the mix.
|
Walt Collins
Max Output Level: -69 dBFS
- Total Posts : 1054
- Joined: 2003/11/12 14:33:30
- Location: Harleysville, PA
- Status: offline
Re: Give Me A Lawn Chair, Honey
2014/03/03 10:39:32
(permalink)
Hey Scott. I listened to this song on soundcloud and "liked" (loved) it a while back. I think this is a great little country pop song - as is! Maybe the vocals could use a bit of "sauce" to make them blend into the mix a bit more, but even as they are, this is just great. Everyone's got their opinions, but at the end of the day it's yours that counts. Don't feel like you "need" to do anything at all.
Walt Collins - Downtempo & AmbientBandcamp: https://waltcollins.bandcamp.com (FREE downloads), SoundCloud: https://soundcloud.com/arcanor blog: "Seeking Enlightenment Through Electronic Music" - http://waltcollins.com/musicI use Ableton, NI, AAS, Arturia, Spectrasonics, Cakewalk, Akai, Yamaha, Fender, Sony, WavesWindows 10, Tannoy, KRK, dbx DriveRack
|
The Band19
Max Output Level: -47.5 dBFS
- Total Posts : 2795
- Joined: 2012/05/29 19:21:32
- Status: offline
Re: Give Me A Lawn Chair, Honey
2014/03/03 19:49:37
(permalink)
"I hear 'ya and I thank 'ya. The consensus is telling. I'll work on fixing the mix."
No I liked it! The bullet to bite on was an AC/DC reference (another great song)
Sittin downtown in a railway station one toke over the line.
|
olemon
Max Output Level: -75 dBFS
- Total Posts : 768
- Joined: 2011/10/27 05:35:19
- Status: offline
Re: Give Me A Lawn Chair, Honey
2014/03/04 13:29:15
(permalink)
Waltenstein Studios
Don't feel like you "need" to do anything at all.
The Band19
No I liked it! The bullet to bite on was an AC/DC reference (another great song)
Okay. I wasn't planning anything drastic. And thanks for explaining the AC/DC reference 'cause I was clueless on that:)
https://www.reverbnation.com/scottholson Platinum, Studio One 3 Pro, Win 10 (x64), AMD FX-8350, ASUS M5A97 R2.0, 16GB, RME UCX, Digimax DP88, Faderport 8, Revive Audio Mod Studio Channel, Vintage Audio M72, Summit Audio TLA-50, KRK Rokit 5 G2 Monitors, Guitars "If you wait till the last minute, it only takes a minute."
|
thegaltieribrothers
Max Output Level: -84 dBFS
- Total Posts : 319
- Joined: 2011/07/28 14:18:38
- Location: birmingham, united kingdom
- Status: offline
Re: Give Me A Lawn Chair, Honey
2014/03/24 09:42:10
(permalink)
Great song, good job!
Best Wishes.
|
RussjWhite
Max Output Level: -80 dBFS
- Total Posts : 511
- Joined: 2012/12/23 16:33:01
- Status: offline
Re: Give Me A Lawn Chair, Honey
2014/03/25 03:45:57
(permalink)
I'm not one for country music, but I hold to my belief that there are songs/tunes/pieces of music that i'm going to like regardless of the style, and this forum is really opening me up to that. I did enjoy your tune very much and I'd have to agree with the comments about the vox being too upfront. The drums in my view don't have to be fatter, I like them as is.
All the best with the tweaks. :)
BL Cakewalk ATHM50 Cans VRM Box East West
|
rebel007
Max Output Level: -72 dBFS
- Total Posts : 926
- Joined: 2013/07/17 11:24:29
- Location: Victoria, Australia
- Status: offline
Re: Give Me A Lawn Chair, Honey
2014/03/25 08:28:14
(permalink)
Nice song, with a great (loved it) groove. Seems like everyone else has mentioned the vocal/drum thing (I didn't mind the bass). Look forward to listening to a different mix if that's what your intending.
Home Built Desktop Computer: Intel Core i5 750: 4Mb RAM: NVidia 210 Silent: Windows 10 32bit: Sonar Platinum: Roland OctaCapture Presario CQ41 Laptop: Intel Core i5 760: 4Mb RAM: Windows 10 32bit: Sonar Platinum (Retired) CbB on HP Pavilion Laptop 64bit: GeForce Video Card: Intel 8550: 256GB SSD 1TB Data Drive: Windows10 64bit
|
olemon
Max Output Level: -75 dBFS
- Total Posts : 768
- Joined: 2011/10/27 05:35:19
- Status: offline
Re: Give Me A Lawn Chair, Honey
2014/04/16 09:26:40
(permalink)
bros, gus, rebel,
Thanks for the feedback. I haven't done anything with this yet, haven't visited this forum in quite some time either. I appreciate the listens.
https://www.reverbnation.com/scottholson Platinum, Studio One 3 Pro, Win 10 (x64), AMD FX-8350, ASUS M5A97 R2.0, 16GB, RME UCX, Digimax DP88, Faderport 8, Revive Audio Mod Studio Channel, Vintage Audio M72, Summit Audio TLA-50, KRK Rokit 5 G2 Monitors, Guitars "If you wait till the last minute, it only takes a minute."
|
teego
Max Output Level: -80 dBFS
- Total Posts : 518
- Joined: 2011/02/04 19:40:55
- Status: offline
Re: Give Me A Lawn Chair, Honey
2014/04/16 18:46:01
(permalink)
Good song! IMO the vocals are ok where they are in the mix because in the country genre they tend to have them more out front than others. I think the drums could use a little ambience to sit them in there a little better but that is a matter of preference. I think overall it sounds pretty good.
Computer: Intel core2 quad q8400 @2.66ghz, 4 gb memory,64 bit Windows 7 Focusrite Saffire Pro 24, Sonar Platinum Ipswich and Update 1
|
Rimshot
Max Output Level: -29 dBFS
- Total Posts : 4625
- Joined: 2010/12/09 12:51:08
- Location: California
- Status: offline
Re: Give Me A Lawn Chair, Honey
2014/04/16 22:27:32
(permalink)
Really good song and playing. Agree about mix levels. I like your voice. Have fun try another mix. Great attitude.
Rimshot Sonar Platinum 64 (Lifer), Studio One V3.5, Notion 6, Steinberg UR44, Zoom R24, Purrrfect Audio Pro Studio DAW (Case: Silent Mid Tower, Power Supply: 600w quiet, Haswell CPU: i7 4790k @ 4.4GHz (8 threads), RAM: 16GB DDR3/1600 , OS drive: 1TB HD, Audio drive: 1TB HD), Windows 10 x64 Anniversary, Equator D5 monitors, Faderport, FP8, Akai MPK261
|
Scottytunes
Max Output Level: -18.5 dBFS
- Total Posts : 5695
- Joined: 2009/01/09 23:48:53
- Location: Vermont
- Status: offline
Re: Give Me A Lawn Chair, Honey
2014/04/17 07:26:26
(permalink)
Great song! I concur with the others on the mix.
|
The Maillard Reaction
Max Output Level: 0 dBFS
- Total Posts : 31918
- Joined: 2004/07/09 20:02:20
- Status: offline
Re: Give Me A Lawn Chair, Honey
2014/04/19 09:24:51
(permalink)
I don't know how I missed this one.
It seems like a great song, as soon as it finished I had to play it again.
Thanks for sharing.
|
evadianepug
Max Output Level: -30.5 dBFS
- Total Posts : 4477
- Joined: 2008/07/11 20:53:21
- Location: Phoenix, Arizona
- Status: offline
Re: Give Me A Lawn Chair, Honey
2014/04/20 00:01:23
(permalink)
I think Herb (Guitarhacker) hit it on the noise about the vocal. You have a nice clean tune and some of the suggestions could put you over the top. I really like your song. Lawn chair and stars are wonderful things.
|
olemon
Max Output Level: -75 dBFS
- Total Posts : 768
- Joined: 2011/10/27 05:35:19
- Status: offline
Re: Give Me A Lawn Chair, Honey
2014/05/01 11:22:31
(permalink)
https://www.reverbnation.com/scottholson Platinum, Studio One 3 Pro, Win 10 (x64), AMD FX-8350, ASUS M5A97 R2.0, 16GB, RME UCX, Digimax DP88, Faderport 8, Revive Audio Mod Studio Channel, Vintage Audio M72, Summit Audio TLA-50, KRK Rokit 5 G2 Monitors, Guitars "If you wait till the last minute, it only takes a minute."
|
teego
Max Output Level: -80 dBFS
- Total Posts : 518
- Joined: 2011/02/04 19:40:55
- Status: offline
Re: Give Me A Lawn Chair, Honey
2014/05/01 21:42:26
(permalink)
Sounds good to me, I like the drum sound much better than what I remember from the original post.
Computer: Intel core2 quad q8400 @2.66ghz, 4 gb memory,64 bit Windows 7 Focusrite Saffire Pro 24, Sonar Platinum Ipswich and Update 1
|
kennywtelejazz
Max Output Level: -3.5 dBFS
- Total Posts : 7151
- Joined: 2005/10/22 06:27:02
- Location: The Planet Tele..X..
- Status: offline
Re: Give Me A Lawn Chair, Honey
2014/05/03 05:24:11
(permalink)
Hi Scott, I think this is my first time listening to one of you songs ... You got a lot going on thats good and working for you the main thing is you have an actual song that is really a song …well written , sung and performed ... you have some righteous acoustic sounds happening on this …. after hearing your song , I'm really missing not having a Dobro …I love playing Dobro I think that using a Dobro on your song brought it up a notch ... anyway , good luck , it was nice hearing your tune all the best , Kenny
|
thepogue
Max Output Level: -50.5 dBFS
- Total Posts : 2458
- Joined: 2007/11/08 20:34:09
- Status: offline
Re: Give Me A Lawn Chair, Honey
2014/05/03 08:34:49
(permalink)
great tune....very much enjoyed it all the way around. If I had this sitting on my PC I think I'd try to pull the vox up a bit..and then take the in a little...I could find out that this sounds the way it should so maybe its just my lack of experience w/country and how it should be mixed.
Very good job!!
|