Hello All!!!

Welcome, but just don't expect this place to make any more sense than the outside world! 

LabDog,
 
My sympathies are with you.
 
Make music for her any way you can. And then make music for yourself.
 

The bapster knows. He's like a zen master.

LabDog Sorry for your loss...And Welcome! There are a lot of good people here. I do not post often (I am new to all of this stuff), but I check this website out every day. A lot of great info to be learned off the various forums (and even references to other websites with good information as well)! Again, welcome---and I hope to see (and hear) more stuff from you in the future--- 

bitflipper
Welcome, LabDog. I am also a recent widower. I know exactly what you mean about feeling adrift, about needing to rebuild your life from square one. It's some heavy sh*t, so naturally this is where I checked in on Day One for therapy. 

My sympathy for you then, likewise bitflipper, I'm not really one for using the 'Colorful Explicatives', a phrase Leonard Nimoy made so popular, but "It's some heavy sh*t" is about the closest explanation to this as I believe there can possibly be!!! I hate that you're going through it, but I guess I can be glad I have 'someone else to go through it with' so to speak!

LabDog
A couple of really cool forum guys, BassDaddy and Mesh suggested coming here, and hanging out might be helpful and therapeutic ...
...

HOGWASH!
 
(Well, that's what I was playing in the background, anyway!)
 
Actually this thing, called Coffee House is really good for soup and sandwiches!
 
Nice to see yahh ... welcome! And if you don't have a song about Becan, you owe us ... !!!

Moshkito

LabDog
A couple of really cool forum guys, BassDaddy and Mesh suggested coming here, and hanging out might be helpful and therapeutic ...
...

HOGWASH!
 
(Well, that's what I was playing in the background, anyway!)
 
Actually this thing, called Coffee House is really good for soup and sandwiches!
 
Nice to see yahh ... welcome! And if you don't have a song about Becan, you owe us ... !!!

lol... I don't even know how to begin to respond to this one! Song about who/what now?  Thanks for the welcome!

henkejs
Welcome. I was widowed over 20 years ago and I can tell you it took years to get my balance back. But it did come eventually, so try to be patient and above all be good to yourself.

 
I can tell you that your loss, even though so many years have passed, is certainly heartfelt! Years to refocus sounds daunting to say the least, especially when all I've really known in my short 45 year life here, is her! And she was over 30 years of that life!
 
I certainly take your advise to heart, patient, I can do, but I also feel like I'm dealing with a loss of drive. I know you know what that is; how did you deal with that?

LabDog

henkejs
Welcome. I was widowed over 20 years ago and I can tell you it took years to get my balance back. But it did come eventually, so try to be patient and above all be good to yourself.

 
I can tell you that your loss, even though so many years have passed, is certainly heartfelt! Years to refocus sounds daunting to say the least, especially when all I've really known in my short 45 year life here, is her! And she was over 30 years of that life!
 
I certainly take your advise to heart, patient, I can do, but I also feel like I'm dealing with a loss of drive. I know you know what that is; how did you deal with that?

Craig gave some good advice about trying to find something new to put your energies into, but my point about being patient is not to beat yourself up if you can't seem to get where you want to be as fast as you think you should. It's OK to feel like you're floundering, like you've lost your drive for a while.
 
You know the cliche about taking one day at a time. Sometimes you just need to manage the most basic things: am I getting any sleep, am I eating all right, have I got clean clothes to wear? These may sound like simple things to most people, but they're not always easy when you're feeling overwhelmed.

craigb

LabDog

henkejs
Welcome. I was widowed over 20 years ago and I can tell you it took years to get my balance back. But it did come eventually, so try to be patient and above all be good to yourself.

 
I can tell you that your loss, even though so many years have passed, is certainly heartfelt! Years to refocus sounds daunting to say the least, especially when all I've really known in my short 45 year life here, is her! And she was over 30 years of that life!
 
I certainly take your advise to heart, patient, I can do, but I also feel like I'm dealing with a loss of drive. I know you know what that is; how did you deal with that?

Two choices: Do nothing and dwindle into despair (with all the health and other problems that come with that), or find something new to put your energies into.  This might be helping deliver Meals on Wheels to the elderly, getting a pet (VERY therapeutic!), volunteering somewhere and, eventually, down the road perhaps finding someone else who can use your attention (who might be coming from an identical situation). 
 
No one said it will be easy, and she'll always be in your mind, but it's MUCH healthier to put new things in your head to think about. 

That's pretty profound advise! I think I'd like delivering Meals on Wheels, not so sure about a pet at this point as I'm now in flux as far as my living situation is concerned, but I do see your point. I am definitely trying to find new things to put on my mind, but I guess that's the hard part, with practically everything leading into reminders that send me...

BobF
Welcome!!  Sorry about your wife.  I would be totally lost.
 
As others have said or alluded to, don't expect much high-brow here in the CH.  This is where we come to forget sanity and reason.  Did I say "we"? 

Thanks Bob, I'm definitely feeling pretty lost right now!
 
I do appreciate the banter here, it's a bit off and disarming, with some comments leaving me speechless, but that's a pretty cool thing! So I thank all for adding a cheerful moment to an otherwise uncheerful time...

BobF

Yeah, Bacon!!! I can sing about Bacon  That actually looks really good, I could seriously devourer some of that too!

I also remember it not being easy for everyone to convince you to join that band too! 

bitflipper

LabDog
...I also feel like I'm dealing with a loss of drive. I know you know what that is; how did you deal with that?

For me, it was joining a band. 
 
I knew if I didn't find a way to get out and interact with other humans that I was on track to becoming an isolated, bitter old hermit. Even now, there are times when I'd rather curl up with a book on Saturday night than lug gear in the rain for a 50-dollar paycheck. But because other people are depending on me I am motivated to get off my butt. And once I'm on stage I remember why I cannot NOT do it.

That definitely makes sense... for me music "Feels like" the obvious path to getting active/interactive with the world again and keeping me sane; just because it's what I come from... at this point though, I'm kinda struggling to create my path to creating music, with my environment being one in flux. Most of what I own is in a storage bin and right now I only have this Surface Pro 3 and a USB MIDI controller keyboard with me. I ended up purchasing a PreSonus Studio 192 Mobile to use with the tablet, but it's been a problematic venture getting to even run... story for another day I suppose.
 
I guess though, the suggestions 'be patient and kind to yourself' actually help me in considering the hindering struggles and problems of life won't last always, so thanks for that reminder henkejs
 
Wanna hear something messed up... I actually had thought to try and help others in need pretty early on, so in hearing about a nice, also recently widowed lady, who owns a Bible book store nearby; I went to offer my condolences, comfort and help with whatever she might need. Trying to bring her comfort, I ended up the one breaking down and needing the comforting from her! lol