"Homeland" an original ballad by Phil Doyle with Robby on vocals & Bapu on bass

I started writing this song about a year ago and just recently finished it.  It is a song to honor those who serve(d), and some of the trials they face.  

Despite dropping the tune a full step, my aging vocal chords couldn't cleanly make all the notes.... time to drop Robby a line .  Damned glad I did too, as Robby just did an incredible job on the vocals IMHO.  My good friend Ed added his deft touch on bass, programmed the drums and did all of the mixing and production too.  I wrote the song and played some guitar on it... oh, did the synth strings too.

Hope you all like it.  As always, all comments, good, bad or indifferent are welcome as to both the composition and performances.  Thanks for listening....



Top song on my Soundclick page: http://www.soundclick.com...0818&content=music

It's a pretty one, thanks Phil. (this was my first stealth colab in my signature :-)

I gotta be in the top 10? :-)

ohgrant


 I just realized yesterday, after a few others talked about it, that Lennon’s "Imagine" was about socialism.  Somehow I never made that connection.

I think Elvis Costello nailed his hypocrisy with a lyric of his own:
"Was it a millionaire who said 'imagine no posessions'?"

Phil and Rob,
 
That was great, no doubt about it. Loved the gentle way into the chorus you took. Excelent lyrics and singing.

jamesyoyo

ohgrant


 I just realized yesterday, after a few others talked about it, that Lennon’s "Imagine" was about socialism.  Somehow I never made that connection.

I think Elvis Costello nailed his hypocrisy with a lyric of his own:
"Was it a millionaire who said 'imagine no posessions'?"

Grin...

Well written ballad, both musically and lyrically. Performances are spot on throughout. There's alot to be said for sublety in a ballad, and the lack of over emoting is what makes this for me. Nice mix Ed. Everything in its place.


Randy

Interesting... It is an emotional song? And this is not the 1st take on the vocals. 

In fact, I broke up a little on the 1st take...

We all sleep peacefully in our beds each night because rough men stand at the ready to do violence on our behalf... I respect those men, more than most. And the sacrifice they make. I value their contribution to my personal well being...  I know some value Socialism... However, our system has lead the world for more than my lifetime, and these men? These men are who make it possible.

So the song touched me deeply? I teared up in places the 1st time through, and the second. My father was a war hero... And I am very proud of his legacy.

Phil said, this version sounds a little different? And I said, yes, it is a little different. It took several tries. Because he had a version where I was tearing up a bit.

It's an emotional issue, because men, "good men" give their lives for us... And that is not lost on me. It is a fitting tribute to our fighting force. God bless them, and keep them. And I thank them all for what they do.  God bless America.


And just when you thought it was OK to not like me? It is OK to not like me, but we have to love and respect our soldiers and veterans.

Having served my own country for two tours, I do relate to the sentiment of this song. Saying goodbye was by far the hardest thing to face. The performances were outstanding. The mix is a little lifeless (sorry Ed) and could use more dynamics and richness. The lyrics were very good, but musically the song... just didn't strike a chord with me. It needs more emotion. - Phil, everytime I see the pic on SoundClick, I think... Leonard Cohen, or Leonard Nemoy? Great pic. It serves you well.

I tried to get Scotty...On the Fiddle? But you have to understand that he's booked up tight!!

Phil, Ed and Robby, Great Job!  It takes me a coupld times to listen to music AND lyrics.  I am going to go back and concentrate on just the lyrics.  The music was very well done by all, vocals too.  Now I can concentrate on lyrics.  My first impression was "wow".

This is a lovely tribute to our men and women in the service.

This is a beautifully written tune - I really enjoyed this.

Wow--nice one, guys!  Great performances and really good lyrics, Phil.  

Excellent work, fellas.  Performances, lyrics, vox - all awesome!

foxwolfen


The mix is a little lifeless (sorry Ed) and could use more dynamics and richness. 

Rimshot


I think the production could use some more attention to bring out the emotion.  I agree with foxwolfen on this.  

Rimshot

Gentlemen,


I usually take a single crit (i.e. drums are too far back, bass is distorted etc.) with a grain of salt.


But when I read two or more comments of the "same type" I like to investigate. Whether I do something about it or not is less important than to maybe learn more "for the next time".


So if either of you would be so kind as to be a bit more specific I'd really appreciate it. Is it that certain instrumentation (including vocals since they too are an instrument) need more riding of faders to either pull back or bring forth their contributions in certain spots? Does any one (or group of) instrument(s) feel too compressed? Is the overall mix too compressed? Is there bad EQ somewhere? 


I mean this with no disrespect to either of you but the terms you've used here are like when people say a piece of hardware (or VST) is or is not very "musical". Know what I mean?


If the purpose of the songs forum is to seek comments, advice and crits (assuming crit here is meant guidance or suggestions for improvement); terms like "lifeless production" and "could use some more attention to bring out the emotion" are, IMHO, pretty vague (i.e. not necessarily insightful to me).


I'm not being critical of your crits, I'm looking for more specifics about what you've both mentioned here as I hope it would help me grow as an hobbyist producer.


Thanks.