BlixYZ
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How I polish a turd? ** SOLVED* *
I have heard of this technique How is it done?
post edited by BlixYZ - 2011/05/05 09:06:41
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Susan G
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Re:How I polish a turd?
2011/05/04 20:57:58
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2.30 gigahertz Intel Core i7-3610QM; 16 GB RAMWindows 10 x64; NI Komplete Audio 6.SONAR Platinum (Lexington) x64
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rbowser
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Re:How I polish a turd?
2011/05/04 20:58:05
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Well, it's best to start with dried dog dung. You can probably find some lying around handy in a municipal park near where you live. Wear plastic gloves while retrieving the turd. Be sure to have a new piece of thin plastic with you, of the kind that you may wrap up dinner left overs. While holding the turd with one hand, gently, not enough to crush it, begin polishing the turd with the plastic wrap.
After some amount of time, you should see the turd achieving a pleasant shine in its coat.
Congratulations. You've polished your first turd.
Randy B.
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Dave Modisette
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Re:How I polish a turd?
2011/05/04 21:20:54
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☄ Helpful
First thing I would do is do a search on the keywords "Free VST Turd Polisher plugin." Pick one with a lot of included presets. Also make sure a native 64 bit version is available because the larger the turd the more RAM you will need to adequately polish it.
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yorolpal
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Re:How I polish a turd?
2011/05/04 21:38:41
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The same way as the rest of us, ol pal. Put a clothespin on yer nose and keep twistin the knobs till it sounds acceptable. Or doesn't make you wince anymore.
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michaelhanson
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Re:How I polish a turd?
2011/05/04 21:40:40
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Start with a courser grit and work to a finer compound. Be sure as not to polish so much to go through the outer layer.
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daveny5
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Re:How I polish a turd?
2011/05/04 21:51:26
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You can polish a turd, but in the end you just wind up with a shiny turd. 
Dave Computer: Intel i7, ASROCK H170M, 16GB/5TB+, Windows 10 Pro 64-bit, Sonar Platinum, TASCAM US-16x08, Cakewalk UM-3G MIDI I/F Instruments: SL-880 Keyboard controller, Korg 05R/W, Korg N1R, KORG Wavestation EX Axes: Fender Stratocaster, Line6 Variax 300, Ovation Acoustic, Takamine Nylon Acoustic, Behringer GX212 amp, Shure SM-58 mic, Rode NT1 condenser mic. Outboard: Mackie 1402-VLZ mixer, TC Helicon VoiceLive 2, Digitech Vocalist WS EX, PODXTLive, various stompboxes and stuff. Controllers: Korg nanoKONTROL, Wacom Bamboo Touchpad
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amdrecording
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Re:How I polish a turd?
2011/05/04 21:55:34
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I spend most of the day polishing various turds for clients. I just make it nice and loud- a proud turd is better than a shy one!
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stickman393
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Re:How I polish a turd?
2011/05/04 21:59:42
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BlixYZ
I have heard of this technique
How is it done?
Replace everything, bit by bit.
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daryl1968
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Re:How I polish a turd?
2011/05/04 22:24:22
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........Miley Cyrus's producer has made a career out of it
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osd
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Re:How I polish a turd?
2011/05/04 23:35:52
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The gloss setting in ProChannel?
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siris1977
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Re:How I polish a turd?
2011/05/04 23:59:03
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turd polishing is a vital skill in the suck removal biz.
I'd rather gold plate said turd and try to avoid having to use the pumice soap.. heh
try melodyne or ozone 4 to start.
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siris1977
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Re:How I polish a turd?
2011/05/05 00:00:11
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Un-Arm the Suck button...
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rbowser
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Re:How I polish a turd?
2011/05/05 01:06:09
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daryl1968
........Miley Cyrus's producer has made a career out of it
And the list goes on and on and on - like most everything that starts with a looped turd, topped off with a barked out non-musical turd-like vocal. Oh yeah mon, we polish our turds nice and bright nowadays. RB
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downsouthstudio
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Re:How I polish a turd?
2011/05/05 03:58:42
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Waves has a new plug-in for that.
The manual insists you must let it dry first to protect the "original" ambiance.
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SteveStrummerUK
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Re:How I polish a turd?
2011/05/05 06:24:54
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What is this durt of which you speak, and can dyslexics polish them too?
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daryl1968
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Re:How I polish a turd?
2011/05/05 07:44:14
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And the list goes on and on and on - like most everything that starts with a looped turd, topped off with a barked out non-musical turd-like vocal. Oh yeah mon, we polish our turds nice and bright nowadays.
RB
and don't forget it's got to be LOUD with a pumping kick drum
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dappa1
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Re:How I polish a turd?
2011/05/05 08:38:02
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daryl1968
And the list goes on and on and on - like most everything that starts with a looped turd, topped off with a barked out non-musical turd-like vocal. Oh yeah mon, we polish our turds nice and bright nowadays.
RB
and don't forget it's got to be LOUD with a pumping kick drum
With a few scantily clad black girls gyrating and shaking their bootaay!
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dappa1
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Re:How I polish a turd?
2011/05/05 08:38:58
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BlixYZ
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Re:How I polish a turd?
2011/05/05 08:48:11
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wow! so much great information!
i cant wait to try out some of these techniques (cant believe i didnt think of unarming the suck button!)
i look forward to posting some "before and after" turds for your suggestions and comments!
thank you to all who responded!
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daryl1968
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Re:How I polish a turd?
2011/05/05 09:54:33
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With a few scantily clad black girls gyrating and shaking their bootaay!
I"M IN - BRING ON THE TURDS
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yorolpal
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Re:How I polish a turd?
2011/05/05 10:18:19
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Bristol_Jonesey
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Re:How I polish a turd?
2011/05/05 10:46:14
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You can polish a turd all you want, it's still a turd.
I like to find out who's responsible for it and give it them back.
Isn't there a film about this? Attack of the Killer Turds?
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bitflipper
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Re:How I polish a turd?
2011/05/05 11:00:53
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You're wasting your time if you're not starting out with an ANALOG turd.
You gotta have that analog WARMTH.
So if it's not steaming, it's just not gonna take a polish.
 All else is in doubt, so this is the truth I cling to. My Stuff
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Trash Picker
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Re:How I polish a turd?
2011/05/05 14:25:18
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Just be sure you don't add too much compression... You will surely have complaints
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...wicked
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Re:How I polish a turd?
2011/05/05 14:30:55
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Didn't someone make a VST called the Turd Polisher that had a knob that didn't do anything?
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skullsession
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Re:How I polish a turd?
2011/05/05 14:35:39
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How to polish a turd....or at least attempt to:
Patch A
Patch B
Quick Fix 244
Quick Fix 245
Quick Fix 246
And so on.....
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dappa1
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Re:How I polish a turd?
2011/05/06 05:10:14
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Thugonyx@aol.com
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Re:How I polish a turd?
2011/05/06 16:20:30
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Hmmm...polish a Turd? I dunno...I've never really used Pro Tools!
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daveny5
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Re:How I polish a turd?
2011/05/06 16:28:05
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Turd polisher = Antares Autotune
Dave Computer: Intel i7, ASROCK H170M, 16GB/5TB+, Windows 10 Pro 64-bit, Sonar Platinum, TASCAM US-16x08, Cakewalk UM-3G MIDI I/F Instruments: SL-880 Keyboard controller, Korg 05R/W, Korg N1R, KORG Wavestation EX Axes: Fender Stratocaster, Line6 Variax 300, Ovation Acoustic, Takamine Nylon Acoustic, Behringer GX212 amp, Shure SM-58 mic, Rode NT1 condenser mic. Outboard: Mackie 1402-VLZ mixer, TC Helicon VoiceLive 2, Digitech Vocalist WS EX, PODXTLive, various stompboxes and stuff. Controllers: Korg nanoKONTROL, Wacom Bamboo Touchpad
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