bapu
I admire you ZeldaAdmirer. In just eight posts you have written more words than I have in total on this entire site.
 
I hope you take pleasure in at least that.

sharke
The OP....etc

sharke
The OP just needs to roll his sleeves up and sink his teeth into some strenuous labor. There's nothing like hard work to get the endorphins moving and to stop all of that pretentious psychoanalysis from bouncing around your brain. I don't think I've ever met anyone who was both introspective and happy. ZeldaAdmirer you remind me a little of me back when I had a spell of unemployment in my early 20's. I spent much of the day stoned out of my mind thinking endless thoughts about myself and my place in the universe. What was my purpose? What is happiness? What is pleasure? What is my destiny? And I ended up deeply unhappy, convinced that I was incapable of feeling happiness or relating normally to people. When you're in that pretentious state of mind you're guaranteed not to enjoy life. You can't take the rough with the smooth. Every setback turns into a tragedy of almost biblical proportions. You're looking for some kind of spiritual completeness which doesn't exist and because you can't attain it, you're in a perpetual gloom. And then you start thinking that other people are enjoying this spiritual completeness without you (they're not) and the envy kicks in. It's horrible. And in all that time, I had people older and wiser than me telling me that I just needed to STFU and get on with life without thinking about it. Oh how clueless they seemed! They didn't understand! They're obviously not as sensitive and artistic as me! BOO....FREAKIN'....HOO. That's what it all boils down to. Boo freakin' hoo. They were right, and I was wrong. 
 
I know women who have spent their whole lives in that introspective state, their noses forever in some BS "self help" book or other, and they will reach their 60's and 70's without ever having enjoyed life.  Alright so there may be one or two good books. But the vast majority are nothing more than the psychological equivalent of dietary fads that will never, ever incorporate themselves into the fabric of your life or make you feel better. And neither will your own self-analysis. 
 
Just accept that it's not going to get you anywhere, stop thinking about it and throw yourself into some hard work, doesn't have to be physical necessarily. I don't know if you're currently working or unemployed but it sounds like you have a lot of time on your hands to think. And your thoughts are torturing you. What I found was that when I shifted my arse in gear and lost myself in hard work, the BS thoughts took a back seat. They were still there, but I just didn't have time to indulge them. After a while they just gave up and took off to bother some other poor sap, and all of a sudden I found I was enjoying life again, just like I did when I was a kid and all of that pretentious hogwash hadn't infected my brain. Nowadays I don't look for any higher meaning of life and I don't really care. That's not to say I'm not curious about "all that," but now it's just an interesting subject to be entertained every now and then along with all of the other interesting subjects which vie for my attention. 
 
I hate to come across as unsympathetic, but you REALLY need to force yourself to occupy your mind with non-destructive, non-pretentious thoughts. They're ultimately pointless. 

sharke
At this point I think he has a serious case of narcissism. Nobody's opinion or experience or knowledge matters, just his own thoughts. And now he's talking about the possibility of harming others. Based on what he just wrote, I would seriously think about alerting the authorities.

ZeldaAdmirer
I should also say something else very important here which is that Hitler would only be superior for having pleasure and also only if he killed off the types of people I mentioned here.  But aside from his pleasure, Hitler would not be anyone superior for having killed genuinely innocent and compassionate people.  However, he would be superior for wanting power and control in his life.  Therefore, there are 3 parallel aspects of Hitler that define his personal value and worth as a human being:  1.) His amount of pleasure in life 2.) The fact that he killed innocent people which made him a bad person in one sense 3.) The fact that he lived his life wanting and having power and control in his life which made him superior in another sense.  So you might then be asking between #2 and #3 as to whether he would be considered a superior or inferior person.  The answer to that would be that you can look at it either way.  But like I said, pleasure is what really defines your personal value and worth as a human being and all other things in life such as who you are as a person are all neutral (neither good or bad).  The reason why I say that Hitler would either be a good or bad person anyway is simply because this is how I would feel when the fact of the matter is that all those other things in life besides your own pleasure and suffering are all neutral.

sharke
"Even if I were somehow a psychopath right now who obtains pleasure from harming others, I would still be a good person since my own pleasure is the only thing that defines me and my life as being good." -- pointless philosophical wankery which will ultimately have no bearing on whether or not you enjoy your life. Put whatever pretentious philosophy books you've been reading back on the shelf and never touch them again. They are turning your mind to mush.