Helpful ReplyIf I Worked At Walmart

Author
bayoubill
Max Output Level: 0 dBFS
  • Total Posts : 10899
  • Joined: 2009/04/27 06:11:12
  • Location: Shreveport Louisiana
  • Status: offline
2017/08/11 13:10:37 (permalink)

If I Worked At Walmart

Scenario:
 
 I finally landed a job as a Wal-Mart greeter, which is a good find for many retirees, unfortunately I lasted less than a day.
About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. Per my greeter training manual I said pleasantly, “Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart.” “Nice children you have there. Are they twins?”
The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, “Hell no, they ain’t twins. The oldest one is 9, and the other one is 7. Why the hell would you think they’re twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?”
So I replied, “I’m neither blind nor stupid, madam. I just couldn’t believe someone slept with you twice. Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.”

SWAMP MUSIC
Sonar PLATINUM        
Studio Cat DAW
 
 
      
  
 
#1
Mesh
Max Output Level: 0 dBFS
  • Total Posts : 27360
  • Joined: 2009/11/27 14:08:08
  • Location: Online right here!
  • Status: offline
Re: If I Worked At Walmart 2017/08/11 13:16:01 (permalink)

 
Made my morning......Thanks Bill.

Platinum Gaming DAW: AsRock Z77 Overclock Formula
I7 3770k @ 4.5GHz : 16GB RAM G.Skill Ripjaws X
250GB OS SSD : 3TB HDD : 1TB Sample HDD
Win 10 Pro x 64 : NH-D14 CPU Cooler 
HIS IceQ  2GB HD 7870
Focusrite Scarlett 2i4
The_Forum_Monkeys
#2
Slugbaby
Max Output Level: -33.5 dBFS
  • Total Posts : 4172
  • Joined: 2004/10/01 13:57:37
  • Location: Toronto, Canada
  • Status: offline
Re: If I Worked At Walmart 2017/08/11 13:40:33 (permalink)
I wish I was that witty.  But then i'd probably be in jail.
Thanks for the laugh!

http://www.MattSwiftMusic.com
 
Dell i5, 16Gb RAM, Focusrite 2i2 IO, Telecasters, P-bases, Personal Drama for a muse.
#3
BobF
Max Output Level: 0 dBFS
  • Total Posts : 8124
  • Joined: 2003/11/05 18:43:11
  • Location: Missouri - USA
  • Status: offline
Re: If I Worked At Walmart 2017/08/11 14:05:26 (permalink)
BWAHAHahahaha!

Bob  --
Angels are crying because truth has died ...
Illegitimi non carborundum
--
Studio One Pro / i7-6700@3.80GHZ, 32GB Win 10 Pro x64
Roland FA06, LX61+, Fishman Tripleplay, FaderPort, US-16x08 + ARC2.5/Event PS8s 
Waves Gold/IKM Max/Nomad Factory IS3/K11U

#4
bapu
Max Output Level: 0 dBFS
  • Total Posts : 86000
  • Joined: 2006/11/25 21:23:28
  • Location: Thousand Oaks, CA
  • Status: offline
Re: If I Worked At Walmart 2017/08/11 14:35:27 (permalink)
BobF
BWAHAHahahaha!


+fnar fnar
#5
paulo
Max Output Level: -13 dBFS
  • Total Posts : 6218
  • Joined: 2007/01/30 05:06:57
  • Status: offline
Re: If I Worked At Walmart 2017/08/11 15:03:04 (permalink) ☄ Helpfulby BobF 2017/08/11 15:06:45
 
Two guys are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart when they collide. The first guy says to the second guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going." 

The second guy says, "That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too, and I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate." 

The first guy says, "Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like?" 

The second guy says, "Well, she is 25, tall, with blonde hair, blue eyes, long legs, big firm breasts, and a tight butt. She's wearing high heels, a leather mini skirt and a skimpy little t-shirt."
 
What does your wife look like?" 

To which the first guy says, "Never mind that, let's just look for yours." 
#6
craigb
Max Output Level: 0 dBFS
  • Total Posts : 41704
  • Joined: 2009/01/28 23:13:04
  • Location: The Pacific Northwestshire
  • Status: offline
Re: If I Worked At Walmart 2017/08/13 18:17:54 (permalink)


 
Time for all of you to head over to Beyond My DAW!
#7
Bert Guy
Max Output Level: -70 dBFS
  • Total Posts : 1042
  • Joined: 2005/10/24 13:08:29
  • Location: Synesthesia Studios/Las Vegas, Nevada
  • Status: offline
Re: If I Worked At Walmart 2017/08/14 05:49:41 (permalink)
A retort worthy of Churchill !
 
Cheers,
 
Bert

Silence is so accurate
 
http://www.soundclick.com...ault.cfm?bandID=587673
 
 
 
 
#8
Jump to:
© 2024 APG vNext Commercial Version 5.1