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bayoubill
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2017/08/11 13:10:37 (permalink)

If I Worked At Walmart

Scenario:
 
 I finally landed a job as a Wal-Mart greeter, which is a good find for many retirees, unfortunately I lasted less than a day.
About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. Per my greeter training manual I said pleasantly, “Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart.” “Nice children you have there. Are they twins?”
The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, “Hell no, they ain’t twins. The oldest one is 9, and the other one is 7. Why the hell would you think they’re twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?”
So I replied, “I’m neither blind nor stupid, madam. I just couldn’t believe someone slept with you twice. Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.”

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    Mesh
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    Re: If I Worked At Walmart 2017/08/11 13:16:01 (permalink)

     
    Made my morning......Thanks Bill.

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    Slugbaby
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    Re: If I Worked At Walmart 2017/08/11 13:40:33 (permalink)
    I wish I was that witty.  But then i'd probably be in jail.
    Thanks for the laugh!

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    BobF
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    Re: If I Worked At Walmart 2017/08/11 14:05:26 (permalink)
    BWAHAHahahaha!

    Bob  --
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    bapu
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    Re: If I Worked At Walmart 2017/08/11 14:35:27 (permalink)
    BobF
    BWAHAHahahaha!


    +fnar fnar

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    paulo
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    Re: If I Worked At Walmart 2017/08/11 15:03:04 (permalink) ☄ Helpfulby BobF 2017/08/11 15:06:45
     
    Two guys are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart when they collide. The first guy says to the second guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going." 

    The second guy says, "That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too, and I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate." 

    The first guy says, "Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like?" 

    The second guy says, "Well, she is 25, tall, with blonde hair, blue eyes, long legs, big firm breasts, and a tight butt. She's wearing high heels, a leather mini skirt and a skimpy little t-shirt."
     
    What does your wife look like?" 

    To which the first guy says, "Never mind that, let's just look for yours." 

      Paulo @ soundclick
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    craigb
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    Re: If I Worked At Walmart 2017/08/13 18:17:54 (permalink)


     
    Time for all of you to head over to Beyond My DAW!
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    Bert Guy
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    Re: If I Worked At Walmart 2017/08/14 05:49:41 (permalink)
    A retort worthy of Churchill !
     
    Cheers,
     
    Bert

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