I'm not in BFE but I can see it from here...

Its deer season. I'm hunting in Winnebago Nebraska, staying in Pender, and eating dinner in West Point. Way out in nowhere... :)

I "got" it...
 
T

So how many hunters did the deer get?  I mean, that would only be fair, ya? 

I fought a deer once when I was about 8 or 9. We were staying in a tent by a creek one summer and a young deer wandered into the camp. He clearly was accustomed to people, and was not too proud to beg for food. Someone handed me a handful of grain and told me to go feed the deer. I walked up close and he stood up on his hind legs. I held out my hand and he punched me in the face. 
 
Now, I'm no millennial, so I'm not claiming PTSD, emotional trauma, or disability because I took a hoof to the cheek. It caught me by surprise. The deer got in a couple of body blows before I could react. I swung hard, trying to knock that cocky smile off of Bambi's face, but he dodged. I blocked a right hook and got in a couple of jabs to his little fawn snout. He dropped to all fours and I thought he was done, but then he sprang back up and charged. 
 
I jerked my head back to avoid a blizzard of flying hooves and then swung hard at his unprotected belly. He grunted and belted me in the jaw. I reeled backwards and he dropped back down. We circled one another. People gathered around to cheer on the deer. My dad screamed, "Kick him in the head!" He wasn't talking to me. Money changed hands. I don't know what kind of odds I was getting, but it wasn't complimentary.
 
He jumped up and lunged. This time, I was expecting it. He really was a predictable fighter. I stepped back swung my arm wide, and slapped him hard enough to cross his little deer eyes. He fell sideways and scrambled to get up. He charged again, and I slapped him with the other hand. He landed several solid punches, but I kept knocking him off of his hind legs. We did this a couple of times before he wobbled on all fours, glared at me as if to say, "We'll finish this later, boy. I demand a rematch." Shaking his head to clear the cobwebs, he sauntered away, strutting like a winner. I fell down. 
 
Oddly enough, you can't bolster your street cred by telling people that you fought a deer to a tie. My dad was angry because he had bet on the deer to win by a knockout. Even my dog was ashamed of me and pretended to belong to another family.
 
Since then, I've met other deer who were delightful. They were kind, thoughtful, and tasted great. I keep wondering, however, if I'm ever going to take a shortcut down an alley only to see an old buck step out out of the darkness and whisper, "Fear the deer..."

BFE= Bumfuq, Egypt, or anywhere out in the sticks.

So you are the guys that shot Bambi's mother.
 

UbiquitousBubba
I fought a deer once when I was about 8 or 9. (see above, god I hate the two page quotes) I keep wondering, however, if I'm ever going to take a shortcut down an alley only to see an old buck step out out of the darkness and whisper, "Fear the deer..."

Sounds like something out of Pat McManus story; great stuff!
Speaking of stuffed
Do I detect a little anti-hunter sentiment in our forum; shame on you boys, such intolerance.
(intolerance, it works both ways you know...)
 
T
 

DeeringAmps
Sounds like something out of Pat McManus story; great stuff!
 

Love his stuff!  "Modified Stationary Panic" - Hilarious!

I don't have anything against hunting. Hey, it's not like the burgers I eat were volunteered by self-sacrificing cows. I enjoy my place near the top of the food chain. I can afford to be picky. Granted, I'm too lazy to go hunt my own food, so I can appreciate the skill, patience, and care required to be a hunter. Also, I'm hoping that someone will keep me supplied once the zombie apocalypse destroys civilization. My other option is to make sure I get taken out at the very beginning. I don't really like the taste of brains, even with melted cheese.

57Gregy
BFE= Bumfuq, Egypt, or anywhere out in the sticks.

OH... east Egypt.. lol.