I"m being trolled by a fly

I swear I've had this one fly buzzing around my apartment for the past week. It's one of those clingy little beggars that follows you around, flying around your head, buzzing past your ear, landing on your neck and arms. It checks out everything I eat and crawls around my desk to the left and right of me so that I keep seeing it in the corner of my eye. I've tried swatting it, flicking elastic bands at it, flicking it. I've even tried trapping it in a trash bag but its super fast fly reflexes mean it reacts almost as soon as the thought pops into my head. 
 
I use screens so usually I'm good about keeping the little douchebags out but I guess I was leaning out of the window the other night to watch a hobo fight and he must have scooted in then. I don't want to leave the window open for him in case his fly buddies get any ideas about joining the party, and besides flies have an annoying tendency of flying in every direction except the exit so he probably wouldn't go outside anyway. So I'm thinking I'm just going to have to endure its lifespan. How long do the little bastards live? 

Dunno about New York flies, but the ones in Scotland can fly in the rain.
 
It'll be coming to the end of it's days, but kept alive longer by the nice warmth of your apartment. Got a clear plastic ruler or similar? They make the best fly swatters, the fly can't see it coming. Learned that when I was signmaker, with plenty of clear perspex lying around.

jamesg1213
Dunno about New York flies, but the ones in Scotland can fly in the rain.
 
 

 
 
James,  I bet the flies in Scotland can also ride a horse a lot better than I can ..
 
I got into squirting them with water back in the day because it worked pretty good on them New York flies ..
 
Kenny
 

kennywtelejazz

jamesg1213
Dunno about New York flies, but the ones in Scotland can fly in the rain.
 
 

 
 
James,  I bet the flies in Scotland can also ride a horse a lot better than I can ..
 
I got into squirting them with water back in the day because it worked pretty good on them New York flies ..
 
Kenny
 

Yeah, you can see 'em, riding bareback in the rain, holding little tartan umbrellas .
 
End of June till end of September the grass flies are the worst for me. They love it when I'm mowing grass, following me like seagulls after a fishing trawler. I can stand the dreaded midgies, but not those things. I spray my cap with Raid which keeps 'em at bay for a couple of hours. Luckily I don't smoke...

BobF
I had one of those little bass-tards torture me for 3 days last week

Bapu'd
 
 
 
 
 
 
(ducks & runs)

sharke
Well it's still there today. I'm thinking of getting one of those frogs with the long tongues.

Wow, sounds hard to find!  Every frog I've ever heard of only has one tongue. 

BobF
These things are the bees knees for catching flies by the feet
 
http://www.amazon.com/Bug-Fly-Clear-Window-Traps/dp/B001QBPP66/
 

 
Fly traps gross me out. I had a real problem with fruit flies a few years ago so I hung fly paper in my kitchen. First of all the glue on those things is like the stickiest most viscous substance in the world and good luck if you get it on your fingers. Second, every time I looked at the papers they were covered in dead or dying flies, many of them visibly struggling to get free. I almost felt sorry for the little beggars, even though they're probably just biological machines with no self awareness. 
 
Now mouse glue traps, they're the worst. I once had a client call me and say "I have glue traps down in my larder and I know they're probably all full by now. I'm too scared to go in there and deal with them so I'll give you $20/mouse to get rid of them." I couldn't say no to that kind of cash so I breezed in there full of zip, and immediately started quivering at the knees to see 15 baby mice screaming and writhing on these traps, some of them had torn their fur and their skin trying to get free. I really freaked out and didn't know what to do with them so I just loaded the traps into a trash bag and threw it out. Some of the traps were stuck together and the mice were overlapping them, so that when I picked up one trap, the mouse would come with it but half of its pelt tore off and stayed on the other trap. It was gruesome beyond words. Still, I got paid $300. 

sharke

BobF
These things are the bees knees for catching flies by the feet
 
http://www.amazon.com/Bug-Fly-Clear-Window-Traps/dp/B001QBPP66/
 

 
Fly traps gross me out. ...

Knowing what flies prefer to climb around on, I find living flies more disgusting than fly traps.  There are other types of things that kill flies without trapping them.  Two downsides to them for me.  A) They chemically attract and poison the flies, and B) The poison takes a while to work, so the poisonous dead flies are literally scattered about in unpredictable locations.

We had one of those when we lived in TN.  Invariably a prehistoric giant moth would fly in, start smoking and cause the house lights to dim.

What the frick man …all this stink over one little fly ….
 
sheeesh ,  I could understand if it was an invasion of Cucarachas 
 
that would be different  
 
Kenny

Sharke, are you sure it's not one of those new DARPA insectbots that's been sent your way to observe your obviously interesting average good 'ol 'merican type of behaviour?  (Don't let this cornspirity theorym keep yous awake at night now, ha.) 
HeyDan

heydan
Sharke, are you sure it's not one of those new DARPA insectbots that's been sent your way to observe your obviously interesting average good 'ol 'merican type of behaviour?  (Don't let this cornspirity theorym keep yous awake at night now, ha.) 
HeyDan

Meh, my paranoia level couldn't possibly get any higher anyway. I already assume that there's at least 6 pinhole FBI cameras dotted around my apartment and behave accordingly. 

kennywtelejazz
What the frick man …all this stink over one little fly ….
 
sheeesh ,  I could understand if it was an invasion of Cucarachas 
 
that would be different  
 
Kenny

You do know that the way to keep the flour clean in a bakery is to allow the cucarachas to live in it, right?