Is it OK to say that everything is geting better except....

this hemorrhoid. I have NEVER had anything like this. I was constipated and pushed too hard, woke up next morning, thought I was passing a kidney stone, then I felt a bump and thought I had a boil, then I loked with a mirror and freked out. Something like a pink grape between my cheeks... and no, nothing has gone into my arse except my doctors gloved finger and I didn't like that. This is day three. There is one chair I can sit it. It hurts. It is damned invasive and I probably shouldn't be telling this to strangers but dang... I had to tell someone. I promise, I will just wait from now on. The doctor said it didn't look like it has a clot but it is still there and big. Thank God for Vicoprofen.
 
Sory, if this offends, I don't mean it to. I am curious, have you ever had one of these? If so, how long before it went away? It is really distressing. When I put medicine on it... I can feel it in my belly button.. it is probably one ofthe 5 worst things I have ever had. I want it GONE.
I can drive but I have a really hard time getting in and outof my truck. I have to sort of roll out of the seat, through the door of the truck, and land (hopefully, on my feet) I almost busted my arse in the Publix (supermarket) parking lot...
 
I would like prayers, mojo, and advice... maybe just a kind thought.
 
Please forgive me if I offended you by "too much information"...but like I said, I needed to share, need someone to help carry. Felt so distressed yeaterday I went to bed at 7:00 PM... not to sleep just to bed.
 
This SUCKS! But it could be worse, I could have a migraine too or not have a chair I can sit in. When I went to bed last night I was thinking about Job, fromthe Bible and how he was covered with boils and sat and scraped himself with a potsherd. His three friends came to see him and sat without speaking for 7 days.. can you imagine anyone today being patient or caring? Who am I to complain?
 
Thanks for any ideas, prayers, and mojo.
 
Julien aka bubblebutt
 

On the positive side, this proves without a doubt that you're NOT a perfect a**hole.

Ouch! :( Once this one gets taken care of, taken some serious steps to get more fiber in your diet. Don't bother worrying about if it tastes good or is packaged nicely or what-not...just EAT MORE FIBER. Then you may never have one of those nasty things again.

Ouch! :( Once this one gets taken care of, taken some serious steps to get more fiber in your diet. Don't bother worrying about if it tastes good or is packaged nicely or what-not...just EAT MORE FIBER. Then you may never have one of those nasty things again.

 
I've aready looked at the Fibercon and metamucil. Bought some grapes and a big container of vanilla yogurt... I am on it, thanks. I was told by someone at a pain cinic that a tablespoon of Karo syrup every day woud fix it too, but it is one of those things that I forget to do until it is a problem.
 
Thanks for the advice.
 
I'm just glad I am slef employed since '89 and have people to take care of my work... it could be so much worse... but God is good.
 
Julien

I'm just glad I wasn't drinking anything during those first few sentences.... it would have been coming out my nose....and I'd have been cleaning it off my computer screen.

Can't say I've ever been in your shoes.... man..... Scissors?  I'd use an ice cube to numb it up a bit first.

I've known a few people with them and they don't generally go away on their own.... our drummer had them and setting in the drum throne was a pain in the arse.... literally.


There's better ways of dealing with constipation besides pushing harder...... go visit a drugstore... they sell all sorts of things in there.  Kinda late now though.... I'm thinking at this point it's gonna be a bit of surgery and recovery time....

Sorry to hear about your situation. Best of luck getting it resolved. Stay away from the jalapenos for the time being. LOL

 
Well, that is some good advice... Lord, what a thought.
 
J

I speak from some experience. I ordered a pizza with bell peppers and onions and they sent jalepenos instead. I tried to eat what I could. I like some spice--but not so much that kills all the flavor. The following day--great balls of fire! I survived, but it wasn't pretty. LOL

ah, gotta have some jalepenos sometimes!!

I'm thinking Rat Toes from Razzoo's!  mmm...crab & cream cheese stuffed jalepeno's breaded and deep fried with a creamy ranch dip!! 

So we've gone from Gall Bladders, to Testicles, to Anus's today.

Jbow ... seriously ... the best thing you could do ... got a tube of Ben Gay and smear a giant glob on your fingers and work it in. It will take the pain away immediately.

bow ... seriously ... the best thing you could do ... got a tube of Ben Gay and smear a giant glob on your fingers and work it in. It will take the pain away immediately.

 
Thanks Bub, I will do that right befre I bury and axe in my head.
 
J

OTC remedies will not help.  Get your doc to perscribe a steroid cream.  Then see if you're a candidate for the "rubber band" treatment.  If not see if you're a candidate (probably not) for surgery. Proctologists are reluctant to do surgery unless your life is REALLY being adversely affected due to the two (sometimes three) week recuperation period where you'll be asking yourself questions like, "do I really want that cracker???"   

Get your doc to perscribe a steroid cream.

 
I did but so far it isn't getting better, not worse either. Only day 4. Beieve me, surgery is my last option for everything. I read about the rubber band thing, inject with adreneline to clot the whole mess, then cut the end and squeeze it out. I will wait a whileon that too. I do not want a skin tag if I can help it. It doesn't hurt too bad, then again I am taking vicoprofen, ibuprofen, and other stuff. Plus the cream. I will give it at least a week to see if there is any change.... it is just.. well... it is just there 24/7. It sucks.
 
Bub, wehad real volkswagens... busses, I had two. One was a '67 camper van I collaged all the wood in the back with typical 1970 stuff. The other one was a regular van with a shelf behind the back seat. I put my Silvertone 1485 cabinet back there and wired my Motorola 8-track cassette to it, stereo 3x10 special design Jensens to each side... the tape hiss would make you jump when I plugged a tape in... it was LOUD and really, it sounded quite good in the van. When I got it all wired up I played
enough to get wowed.
My dad was doing yard work and I called him 'over all proud of this killer stereo'. Of course the tape I chose wasa Zappa: Chunga's Revenge. I slapped it in and out of everything on the whole tape Frank proceeded to say (at about 115 db) "and the band plays some of the most terriblest **** you ever known".  Well, I couldn't get the tape out fast enough... dumb look... dad say's, Yeah, that's nice", and went back to yard work... how do these things happen??
 
Yeah, VW vans... Not bugs like you kids... VANS!! It is probably one reason for this loud tinitis that I have just grown to accept. It is better than hearing nothing I guess...
Julien

I can't believe the threads I've read today. Hell, I can't believe the threads I started today.

Seriously, FIBRE 1 is the one. The G.I. doctors at my local hospital recommend it. I like the snack bars. And DON"T rub Ben Gay on your A**. Really Bub??

Remove newspapers and magazines from your toilet. It's not only the lack of fiber, it's the 30 minute sessions.
 
You don't need FIBER 1 or any commercial product of the kind. Just eat vegetables, full corn bread and such. Have one meatless day a week, you'll see the difference.

Get a box brans. NOT Kellogs' or anything industrially processed, just plain, clean wheat or oat brans. One or two spoonfulls a day is enough for a grown up. You can mix them into whatever you want, even minced meat!

A rowing machine is excellent if you want to exercise your bun muscles and the "wrinkled eye" in order to keep them disciplined.