It's true: after the 3rd day you're not hungry anymore

Last week was rough. I had some emergency heart surgery, but that actually wasn't the worst of it. Let me tell you my sad tale.
 
I'd had a colonoscopy scheduled for Thursday (if you don't know what that is, you don't want to know), which requires a 24-hour fast to prepare. So I had lunch on Tuesday, skipped supper (as is my habit) and Wednesday I ate nothing as per instructions. The appointment was for 1:30 Thursday afternoon, so I was mentally geared up for a marathon fast. I hadn't ever gone that long without eating before, but as I regularly do 24-hour fasts I was pretty sure I'd manage 48 hours OK.
 
Then Wed. night I got severe chest pains that the nitro pills didn't fix. Called 911 as per instructions that came with the nitro pills, got a nice ride with flashing lights and a shot of fentanyl from the EMTs. Wonderful stuff, that. I asked them if I'd start robbing 7-11s the following week, but they assured me 1 mg would not turn me into a slobbering addict. But it did kill the pain, which had been quite intense, so I was very grateful for the shot.
 
After a few hours in the E.R. I get checked in to a hospital room and cool my heels the rest of the night. Next day I'm getting pretty hungry, as it's now been over 50 hours without food. In the afternoon they told me I'd be going in for an angiogram/angioplasty, that I'd have to hold off eating until after that. OK, I said, I can do this.
 
Around 6:00 PM a pretty young nurse comes to shave my groin. I think about baseball. 
 
But by 9:00 PM nothing has happened and I'm really, really hungry. And a little grumpy. It's now been 60+ hours without food and over 20 hours without water. Necessary for the surgery, they said. OK, I said, just tell me when this ordeal will be over. The nurses say the doctor's not answering his pages, must be busy. Heart failure is a booming business, after all.
 
I tell them I don't know how much longer I can hold out, threatening to walk out of there. An empty threat, though, as I had no shoes, shirt or coat. Apparently my pleas made it up the chain of command because shortly afterward they came with a gurney to take me to the O.R.
 
I go to the O.R., where I'm laying on the operating table prepped and ready to go under and dreaming of bacon (true story) when the surgeon tells me they have an emergency case and I'll have to wait until next morning for my turn. Heart. Sinking.
 
Back in my room, I beg them for food and they finally relent and tell me I can eat something. It's after 10:00 PM and the kitchen is closed, but the nurses find me a tiny vending-machine sandwich in a plastic box with some mystery meat. Let me tell ya, it was the best damned sandwich I ever ate. Squeezed every drop out of the little mustard packet that came with it, too. Nothing like a three-day fast to build up an appetite.
 
On Friday they fixed me up, Saturday I was turned loose, and shortly after enjoyed a very satisfying meal at my favorite Indian buffet.
 
The End.
 
 

Holy **** Bip.
 
Stars all collided wrong. Pray that you are okay. Usually hunger vanishes about 10 days into a voluntary fast. We can't lose you either on this forum or beyond.
Going forward, got to cut down on cholesterol (any animal diet stuff) so you don't get clogged again. The procedure corrects the acute crisis but does not fix the cause which can throw you into life ending trauma again if lifestyle is not modified. So fortunate you were able to do the angioplasty and not get gutted from your throat to your knees if this would have happened 30 years ago, or sometimes needed now in our current barbaric age. Progressing in our understanding and technology, but death would have been the other option. You are lucky in spite of the severe inconveniences.
Hang in there brother.
John

Wow that sounds like quite an ordeal, I'm not sure whether I'd find the medical situation or the lack of food more harrowing. I'm one of those drama queens who thinks he's about to pass out if he goes without food for more than a few hours. 
 
I had surgery for skin cancer a few years ago, they removed a melanoma along with some flesh as a precaution. Seems like a fairly minor procedure in comparison to something like heart surgery but they still have you fast the day before. So around 10pm I'm starving and I'm thinking damn, I bet I can't sleep tonight for worrying. So I had the bright idea to smoke some weed. First of all I went back and forward wondering whether you were "allowed" to smoke weed before a general anesthetic (doesn't tell you in any of the pamphlets). Then I thought screw it and rolled myself a large fatty. Instant regret. Instant worry and paranoia (I'm doing what tomorrow? I have what? Oh my god!) and on top of that, the most intense munchies I've ever experienced along with the knowledge that I couldn't satisfy them, despite having kitchen cupboards full of the kind of goodies I would normally shovel into my gob with a backhoe after having a smoke. 
 
The sooner they invent those little molecule sized nanotechnology robots which are injected into your body and set about repairing it from the inside with the minimum of fuss that I read about in a breathless book about the emerging age of nanotechnology in 1991, the better. Surgery sucks. Sounds like you're OK though. 

Good to hear you have been fixed Dave, sorry to hear you went on such a painful ride.

Very glad to hear you're ok Dave......wow, what an ordeal. Will you have to prepare all over again for that original procedure?

blimey! best wishes dave

Hope you're feeling much better, Dave. And thanks for the story.

 
For those who have never seen it, Dave Barry's piece on getting a colonoscopy is about the funniest thing you're likely to ever read.  Most highly recommended (and required reading if you are in line for your very first experience in this area).  Read it here:
 
http://www.miamiherald.com/living/liv-columns-blogs/dave-barry/article1928847.html

Bit, good going and way to hang in there. I've had both open heart surgery (just like you, I  got kicked out of line while more emergent cases took cuts in front of me!) And a couple of colonoscopies*. Good on you for getting through it in style.
 
*Pictures are available in the lobby
 
Cheers, 
-Tom

There's an upside: I can't lift anything until the incision heals (apparently, if it rips I bleed to death). Got a gig tonight so my bandmates will be carrying in my gear for me. He-he.
 
Downside: I still haven't had the colonoscopy, so have that to look forward to.
 
Downside: the bill for all this will be in the several thousands of dollars. Go ahead and laugh, everybody in Canada, France, Germany, UK, Sweden, Norway, Finland, Cuba and the rest of the civilized world. I was just going to blow that money on food, rent and sample libraries anyway.

so glad you are still alive and kicking bitflipper! thankyou, thankyou, thankyou for the thousands of insights and ideas you have contributed over the years also. I've learnt a hell of a lot from you

Starise
Growing old sucks big time. 

"Old age ain't no place for sissies"
- Bette Davis
 
I've got lots of gripes about our healthcare system, but every time I've left a hospital stay I came away thinking "nurses rock!". Not many people could deal with human misery every single day - up close and (sometimes extremely) personal - and still give you a smile and laugh at your lame jokes. Respect.

bitflipper

Starise
Growing old sucks big time. 

"Old age ain't no place for sissies"
- Bette Davis
 
I've got lots of gripes about our healthcare system, but every time I've left a hospital stay I came away thinking "nurses rock!". Not many people could deal with human misery every single day - up close and (sometimes extremely) personal - and still give you a smile and laugh at your lame jokes. Respect.

My cousin Brenda is a nurse. She posted something on Facebook a few days ago (yeah, I'm on FB), something like "during the 23 hours and 55 minutes the doctor is not in your room, it's nurses who take care of you". So true.

Quite the ordeal!

I'm glad to hear you've come through it all ok. Amazing how far we can stretch ourselves when need be.

I hope you heal quickly and the colonoscopy comes and goes fast and well!

don't forget when you give you the oscopy .. they film it.. ask for the dvd.. ;-)
if only I had known!!
 
my mum had an op , and they used it /her for a training dvd.. which was a good thing, as they couldn't "muck up"
 
I actually fought the people trying to put me under, I was told later... and took ages to wake up.
I do remember the fasting and having to only it boring rubbish to clear out my system a week before.
dunno if you have the "barium" thing there, or they still do it.. thats err not great either.
 
I know someone on the radio had stents etc and they were saying you have to be alert for such things and they stop your heart etc. for some procedures very briefly.
 
I've had one friend who is mid 40's.. maybe 5-6 years ago , he wouldn't be here due to the advances in things.
 
with time I forgot my op, pretty much.. but the fasting bit, being a diabetic now is a bit trickier.. I didn't take my tablet for a blood test one morning.. I was like a drunk walking up to the place, until I got my food / tablet.
 
there has been a series on iplayer called "surgeons" and some of the stuff they do is "wow" these days.