Keyboard midi files are MECHANICAL!

Piano midi files are MECHANICAL!
 
"Humanize" doesn't address the real problem: notes being played/sounded EXACTLY at the same time.... no pianist plays that way!
 
How about a CAL script that breaks up every occurrence of a "chord", that is, prevents notes from sounding simultaneously: pushes all events away from each other by a few ticks, perhaps with the treble being pushed a few ticks to the right (delayed), in general, relative to the bass???
 
Is there a CAL script that does this?  Randtime.cal?   Any way to make randtime move the HIGHEST notes the farthest right?
 
IF not, what's the reigning CAL editor?
 
JG

Thanks, Johnny. I have composed several answers to this, but they didn't come across quite right, so I didn't post them. You said it nicely.

I'll just add that I think the importance of note start timing to the realism/naturalness of a piano performance is over-rated. In my experience as a piano/keyboard player, note duration, velocity, and sustain/sostenuto usage are far more important to the sound and feel of a MIDI track than whether chords are rolled or triplets have the perfect amount of swing. I think start timing gets an inordinate amount of attention because its the easiest thing to see and edit, but the payoff is minimal. Conversely, editing in a natural articulation of duration and velocity might be more rewarding, but is much more difficult, if not impossible, to do.
 
As with acoustic instruments (and non-MIDI electric ones), when it comes to MIDI, there's no substitute for capturing the live performance of a human playing a keyboard or other MIDI controller in real time and responding to the dynamic and timbral characteristics of the particular patch being played at the moment.

Sorry: I overstated my issue: of course most midi files are crap (meaning quantized, or step-inputted etc., etc.).
 
What I was curious about is whether any advances had been made over the years in modeling human touch, beyond "HUMANIZE," et. al., which are crude and pretty much useless.
 
"There are no humanize functions (IMO) that really understand the content of the music."   If this is true, it answers my question in a general way.
 
But the "randtime.cal", in theory at least, is an exception.   A literally "solid" or "unbroken" chord at the piano is never heard in performance, and probably never intended.  In fact, midi files of live performances show that the leading note, usually at the top of the chord,  is ususally sounded AFTER the other notes of the chord.   In Chopin the phenomenon is almost a necessity.   Ergo: how about a CAL script that takes RANDTIME and adds a provision that allows the user to specify which note will sound LAST or FIRST in the random sequence?   
 

I imagine a fairly convincing humanizing algorithm could be written for specific genres by a genius programmer with lots of input from musicians and analysis of live MIDI recordings from them... but it's easier to learn to play the piano half-way competently and edit out your mistakes. 
 
As I implied before, just having a CAL script roll the chords for you is not going to significantly improve things by itself.

True. I was responding specifically to the references to piano in your original post. Harpsichord and organ performances certainly pose less of a challenge.