Lizzie Lyzo - Fixed (for real this time, I hope)

This is my new song at its new link (fixed drum weirdness in 2nd section), "Lizzie Lyzo". Here goes nothing: 
 https://soundcloud.com/la...s-and-all-2016-final-e
 
Hope you like it :)
LJ
Edited to change the link. I took the reverb off the harmonies at the end and I think they sound way better! Sorry to keep changing it!
 

Thank you very much! Yes, right after I posted the song, I noticed that I had overlooked the drums in those three measures there (actually I did fix them but forgot to save!) and cringed but I was too tired to fix them again last night :) Thanks again, Dan :)
LJ

Thanks, Wookiee! I wish I'd had another listen before I posted the song. I would have realized that I somehow neglected to save the fix for the drums in those three measures. I probably won't get a chance to fix it today or tomorrow because of 12-hour days at work. I guess I was in too much of a rush to get it done over the long weekend :( Let that be a lesson to me!

I don't have any suggestions for you; just wanted to say I really enjoyed listening to this truly unique song. The lyrical starts and stops seemed to me kind of stream of consciousness. Loved the guitar accompaniment throughout. Very well done!

Thank you, bjornpdx and kakku, for your very kind comments. It's very good of you to take the time to listen and then take even more time to write. It means a lot!  Thanks :)
 

this is brilliant. just when you think it's a nice whimsical little folk-rock song you throw in a change-up which sounds like Queen. as others have said a unique voice which is set off perfectly by your arrangement

Just to say, phew, I think the version I just put up might be the final thing (and also, I think I have to finally admit I may be a bit obsessive). Fixed several points that were keeping me awake at night:
 
https://soundcloud.com/laura-thomson-723335445/lizzie-lyzo-vocals-and-all-2016-final-e
 
 

Hi there Kenny,

I can never get over how kind and thoughtful you are. Thanks very much for giving me so much great feedback (and for giving the song its one and only 'like' on SoundCloud).

Yes, I do everything myself, and I'm only too aware of how painfully lacking I am in so many areas. The embarrassment over that is the reason that it took me until March of this year to post my first song. It was your encouragement that finally gave me the nerve to take that step.

I'm trying to improve, but sometimes I seem to take several steps back for each one I take forward. The encouragement and advice I get on this forum are a tremendous help to me.

Thanks a million,
LJ

Dear Ed (bapu),
 
Thank you for that great advice. That is something I am going to think over long and hard. I know that I need help with mixing, but I also know I'm too nervous to record tracks in front of anybody. Also, my recording space is approximately as big as a breadbox, so they'd have to be an awfully tiny person.
 
So, I have to figure out how to get help without actually recording (performing) in front of anybody. 
 
Mixing tutorials just seem to swim into oblivion in front of my eyes as I admonish myself to PAY ATTENTION!
 
Lately, I've been just recording everything dry and then sticking a little bit of reverb on the master track and out to LandR - a real mix master, eh? Yeah, and it shows.
 
Maybe when my job-for-money slows down somewhat next month, I at least won't be so exhausted when I finally get the chance to get to Sonar. Then maybe some patience will return and some mixing tutorial lessons will sink in. Right now, those tutorials sound to me like those nagging Charlie Brown teacher Wah-wah voices.
 
I want somehow to just sing and play the song and have it stick itself magically into Sonar and come out sounding its best. That shouldn't be asking too much, should it? :)
 
Many thanks for giving me real food for thought,
LJ

I'm pretty sure Daryl1968 could do some excellent work on producing your songs. I'm not speaking for him and I'm not singling him out, many here appreciate his productions.
 

Just to think the whole thing up is pretty brilliant, recording niggles aside. I'm curious, do you see it all ahead of you at one go, or do you build it and find your way as you go?
 
Recording wise, I thought the drums' overall volume could come up easily as much as 5db overall, I know it's not the feature here but it sounded to me as if the drummer was in the next apartment. You could bring him or her into your room . . .
 
Ah, I keep getting a Beatles feeling, something Abbey Road-ish the way the parts come in and back out. Actually this one song has probably enough musical motifs in it to make four or five really really good songs, but of course keeping them all in long form here works a treat.
 
As a fan of the musically complicated, or perhaps detailed is a better term, let me say thanks for your wonderful song. This ain't no three chord blues song (although I like those too)
 
cheers,
-Tom
 
 

Rikkie, thanks very much for those kind words. Wow, 30's cabaret - that's a flattering comparison for sure! :) I'm hoping to improve on the recording side someday soon (I stress hoping!).
 
emeraldsoul, thank you so much for your comments. Much appreciated :)
 
 
To answer your question, I generally get a tune with some chords and usually words (or certain lines of words with a certain rhythmic pattern) showing up and then nagging at the back of my mind. If they nag at me enough, I write them down in a notebook in some form (a real notebook, made of paper, because that works best for me)  and/or sing (and/or play them) into a simple recording app on my iPad. In either case (the notebook or the iPad), I try to date the idea at the beginning of the title, e.g.: "May31 16 Reply to emeraldsoul" . Hey, that wouldn't be a bad title! :)
 
A little later (maybe minutes, maybe months!), a related idea will pop into my head. If some time has passed between the related ideas, the date will come in handy (I'll remember I had the original idea when it was very hot out or that it was snowy, for example). There have been times when a good many months have separated ideas that strike me as compatible, so in this way, I can make a decent guess as to which notebook the earlier idea is probably in. My notebooks are different colours and, on the cover, I write the dates of the time period each encompasses.
 
Once I find the notebook I was filling that season and locate the original idea, I write, for example, on the May 31, 2016 page: "See also Jul20 15, blue notebook and 2 recordings" and on the July 20 15 page: "See also May31 16, butterfly notebook and recording".
 
If many possibly related ideas come on different dates, I just keep adding the dates to refer to on each appropriate page. Often I don't end up combining the ideas after all. It does make a decent old-fashioned cross-referencing system, though.
 
I also note on the page if I made a little recording of that idea on that day. (I do that by underlining the date in the notebook in green. That tells me to check my Dropbox for a recording (really, usually just a snippet or germ of an idea) made on that date). 
 
This all sounds complicated, but once I started doing it a few years ago, it's become second nature. It has kept things really clean and simple and well organized.
 
Sometimes, if I'm lucky, the whole song comes at once, but that's almost as likely as finding a four-leaf clover :)
 
There! Now you know all my secrets, and I bet you're sorry you do 
 
The idea of turning up the drums is a really good one, too. I'll probably take that advice next chance I get.
 
Sheesh, I've gone on way too long here! 
Thanks so much again,
LJ
 
 
 
 

emeraldsoul
OK, that was fun hearing about your system, and in case there is anyone doubting, you are definitely a songwriter, a condition that afflicts many of us around here, and perhaps you, more so.     The gnomes you employ to maintain all that cross-referencing notebook maintenance must require an expansive lawn all to themselves.  :)
 
keep at it!  
 
-Tom

Yes, Tom, you're right about the gnomes! Two of my most faithful employees are:
The Metro Gnome (gets me to the subway on time), and
The G-Gnome (tunes the third string of my guitar and the first string of my bass)
 
I'm afraid I'm here all night, folks :)
LJ

Actually, I am his sister. LJ stands for Les Jr. As the older sibling, I was awarded the "Junior" moniker (our mother was Leslie, obviously). My parents, for some reason lost to the mists of history, nicknamed me "Mor." My brother had to be content just to be "Les."
Very perceptive of you, bapu! 
LJ Claypool

Hi, Mark (MarkusClinus),
Thank you so much for your kind comments. I'm so glad you liked the song. :)