Looking for Crits and nits

I like it David - very upbeat. I do not have any nits or crits with the song or performances.
Not sure if the mix matters when you're shopping a song but it sounds a little muddy to me.

Sorry to be unspecific. I mean too much low/mid.
Really like the song.

eph221
No I'm being serious!  I understand *muddy* it's more of a big picture understanding of the mix.

Cool.

Beagle I totally agree.  When I originally wrote it what is now the second verse was actually a full bridge (twice the luck and fortune befalls the man...etc).  It wasn't even a verse.  So we switched things up.  The angel thing worked better with that set up rather than the way it came out.  We'll have to revisit it.  Also I want to change it to *easy rider in a motor jam* .  Thanks for listening.

I'd take a little compression or volume off of that bass. Nice tune though, I could sense a little Hootie vibe in there! 
 
You might listen to the bass doing its thing in the breakdown section, it sounds just a little overcooked.
 
cheers,
-Tom

emeraldsoul
I'd take a little compression or volume off of that bass. Nice tune though, I could sense a little Hootie vibe in there! 
 
You might listen to the bass doing its thing in the breakdown section, it sounds just a little overcooked.
 
cheers,
-Tom

Ya definitely hootie.  Thanks for listening.

BASSJOKER
catchy tune.....strangely...I thought i heard this on a local radio station here not long ago ?...I agree with the stated mix issues...anyway....good luck with it !

thanks bassjoker!

What ever juan has already said.
 

I liked this song, the harmonies in particular, but felt that the vocals generally needed to stand out more clearly in the mix.  Also, I'm not sure that the breakdown bridge section really worked for me in this type of song, but that could be a matter of personal taste.

I can hear it!  It is better in the revision.  You need to move that link to the top.  A lot of people won't know that the revision is there.s  Chop, chop, up to the top.  Most excellent music!

I liked the song.  All the way up to the 2 minute point.  I thought the song had ended..... then the bass groove started.
 
The bass/B3 groove  is a waste of time and seriously detracts from the easy country groove you have going.  The groove was so foreign to the song it didn't make sense to me as to why it was there at all. If something doesn't add to the song, don't put it in there.  To me this was a clear case of doing that.  Take it out. No one wants to hear your jamming or playing ability when you're shopping a song. The advice I have gotten from Nashville ears is to eliminate the unnecessary and don't include solo's. A short turn around is OK.  Keep intro's under 13 seconds, and get to the chorus before the one minute point in the song, and be done around the 3 minute point.  Follow those tidbits of information and you'll be over one of the big hurdles in song plugging.  Many writers send in long songs with big solo's and that gets the song thrown out.  Rewrite as needed to get the song into the framework I mentioned.
 
I had no problem with the modulations, in fact I liked the first one.  However, keep it at one.   In the song, eliminate the one minute of jamming..... go for a turn around and right back into the chorus. Repeat the chorus twice if you want....modulate ONE TIME and not in the middle of the chorus but at the start of the second one.... tag it and finish.This will keep your song in the 3 minute running time as well and not pushing the 4 minute mark.
 
I heard what Beagle was talking about.... the phasey sounding B3 and the vocals sounded like they were simply pitch shifted. Be careful NOT to have music with artifacts in it when submitting music to publishers and artists for the purpose of song shopping.  If you're  using pitch correction, keep it transparent unless you're going for the AT sound, but country ain't the genre for that effect.   You essentially need to have a song "radio ready" with all that that means when you send music to publishers and artists.
 
I'd rework it a bit before you send it to the big city.
 
 

I think guitarhacker and beagle are right. It certainly lifted my spirits until the jamming and the key changes.  This song is oozing with groove and potential. Whilst the jamming and key changes indicate inventiveness and flare, the song is good enough not to need them. Keep it simple. The catchy melody and guitar theme is great.

Yeah the revised version is a bit better.  Shorter is almost always better.   I'd tame the B3 a bit. It's kinda harsh.
 
My advice still goes for the revised version on the key modulations.  Use one modulation rather than a series of them.
 
Story time:  Several years back, I wrote a song with another writer. The song was almost 5 minutes long. It had 4 verses, a chorus, a bridge, a really nice guitar solo and every part was, in our minds,  absolutely necessary to the functioning of the song. I sent it to Nashville and they said many things but mostly "too long" ....The president of this group heard the song, loved the basic idea and suggested that I get a different singer, which I did, and that I work with one of his staff to get the song in better shape. So, working with  one of his staff writers, who only gave me advice, not assistance in the writing, I started to work on the song. I cut out a verse... man that first one was the hardest.  After all, in my mind, every word, every note, was necessary... then I cut another.... combined parts of those into just 2 verses. I dropped the bridge, and the guitar solo for a simple turn around. I think this song went back and forth 3 or 4 times total over a few months. It was finally finished, and got the thumbs up from the guys in Nashville.  This is the final version of the song. Just about 3:40 in running time.
 
  http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=12024980
 
With your new version, I can go along with the break now, but I would undo the series of modulations.  However, if you're trying to plug this to a publisher, I would pare it down and eliminate the break as well.   It's OK to have 2 versions. Your personal one and the one you send to publishers.