Looking for some brutal (but constructive) feedback for my piece...

Any input from more experienced ears than mine appreciated.
Also, did a lot of this on headphones and lack good studio monitors, so am wondering if I got a good frequency spread.
Don't mind brutal feedback, as long as there's a hint on how I can improve it!
 
Soundcloud link:
https://soundcloud.com/bansaw-843690132/the-wait-is-over-2nd-albion-piece-november-2017
 

It is spectrally sound. Not bass-hyped, a frequent symptom of headphone mixing. Pretty good balance of instruments and frequencies. Not overcompressed, good dynamics. So on a technical level, 4 out of 5 stars.
 
Compositionally, I'd agree with Warren's assessment: as a standalone piece of music, it takes too long to get to the meat. What I'd suggest is throwing in some ear candy early on, perhaps some high percussion to float above the long drone at the beginning. and add some interest for those with short attention spans. Maybe just bring up that little rhythmic (flute?) part that you've already got going there.
 
My rule of thumb: let no phrase go more than a measure without something changing. It can be a subtle shift of emphasis, automating EQ or reverb, adding a new voice, muting an existing voice, adding a counter melody, or tossing in a triangle. It doesn't have to be a big thing.

Mix does not sound to bad on the Adam's though it does require a little something to keep the attention, probably be fine with a video.

Thanks for sharing.

I thought it was excellent, really well thought out, good dynamics and through headphones the mix sounded clear and crisp.

Seems like a nice mix here. Credits roll just fine to this, is that your intention for It?
I like how it's  tastefully reverbed, not over reverbed  !
 
To me, those trombones do need some lows back in, they sound a little farty, apologies for the brutality. :)
 
It's perfectly suitable and a good mix! I can hear everything cleanly.
 
-Tom

I agree raising the volume of the percussion, just a hair, would make it feel a little more powerful. 
 
I listened while I read the other comments and it felt like I was watching (and reading) the opening credits of a Michael Bay movie. 

Hello 
I don't know what library sounds you used, but it's not very convincing .. especially the brass in the first time.
Little stereophonic sound ... I expanded a bit more the stereo image.
at the end is not bad, Go on !!
 
Regards
Elix

As with most cinematic attempts, there is no musical story or point. What's with the bang at 0.27? I agree with the comments above that brass sounds a bit too synthy.
I would suggest, get a story or a movie scene in your head and try to fit the musical score to it. Make the song tell a story, build up, fall, speed up or slow, whatever sounds like the scene. Then when you play the song back, picture the scenes that you are trying to fit as the song plays.