Love you like this (updated)

New song Work in process. there are a couple of small sections I havent even written lyrics for yet and no harmonies yet.

Please critique the following:
1) the song writing (understand this is supposed to be a happy poppy kind of song) think jonas brothers or jack johnson. How do you feel about the structure of the song. the melodic change in the 1st vs 2nd verse.
2) The guitar is music labs real guitar played in solo mode. How does it sound? should it be used more sparsely? does it fit the song at all? does it sound like a guitar player played it.
3) Drums are not terribly involved. mix of stylus RMX and a self made beat using battery 3. originally I set them up just to play piano with. Im considering reworking the drums from scratch. Should I?
4) Vocals. Other than getting someone who can sing to do this, what advice might you have on flushing out the vocal tracks.

I wrote the music and 1st verse for this over a year ago. since then I have had fun playing it on the piano but could never figure out what the point of the song was. I think I came up with something here and it relates pretty specifically to my wife with some poetic license. I think this has the potential to be a great song but I know its not there yet. give me the unvarnished opinions. I promise to post up the final version so you can see if I listened or learned anything.

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=880459&songID=7053250

http://soundclick.com/share?songid=7056486 (updated version)

I thought this was very well done, good song and production...
I'd bump the bass and kick a bit... I can't hear the kick drum at all...
The vocal could come down just a little too.

I think James hit most of the points. I don't think you need that initial bass/guitar intro because the piano sounds so good. The piano is a bit loud for me, but I'm a guitar players so that should say enough.

I think the guitar synth you used works fine and shows what you are trying to get from the song.

Harmonies would be great in this song especially in the chorus. It would build it up a bit more.

Definitely loose the reverb it is not flattering for your vocals.

Tom

It's always hard to comment after James He always writes very good reccomendations.

I think the piano could be a little quiter but just a little and the drums should be louder and punchier giving the song a little more drive.

It definitely got that happy feeling you said you were after so good work!

Thanks Ihansen, I play everything on the track except drums. The only difference is that I play everything with the keyboard. I play ok as long as it's original. Not so good at covering someone elses stuff.

I'm not gonna' say anything about the 'mix' causin' I kinda' like it and I'm still learnin' how to mix... The song is a toe tapper but I don't think you need a girl to sing it... You got a good voice... It's your tune.... At one point I was picturin' a group of kids (think Brittany and them) doin' their choriographed moves (blah) and then I came back to your voice and liked it again... The other folks in here seem to be givin' you the right guidance on what the tune needs (or doesn't need) so finish it and let us hear it...

Nice tune that grows on you the more you listen to it. The best thing about the song is the balance and interaction of the rhythm parts with the guitar and piano. I could barely tell there were even drums there but didn't miss it that much due to the strength of the other rhythm instruments. I thought the balance was very good. Great job.

Thanks for the generous words Tom and Stix. I'm really happy to hear it. While I understand technically this is not my most complex or nuanced composition, I really like it myself. It has a mood to it thats very happy and fun for me.


I did a little modification to the song taking into account what I learned here. Please tell me how you think the mods worked. I turned up the base and drums, took reverb off the vocal and master outs. tuned up the intro with piano and pulled the guitar out until the first prechorus and rebalanced everthing a bit. I have both version uploaded.

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=880459&content=music

Hi Jeff, this is really good! I didn't hear this before your changes, but it still sounds like there's a reverb on your vocals even tho you said you removed it. I hear no reverb on the instruments and that gives the song a strange feel. how did you record the vocals? what was your room? your mic, your preamp/signal path? maybe what I'm hearing on the vox are reflections in the room and if so that would explain the sound. you've got a great voice, but something's not quite right on the vocal recording or processing.

this is a great song, tho - it does have a great hook musically and lyrically. very nice!

LOL! Ok - that's why then.

the room, mic, etc is probably fine, then as long as you know you had some verb on it still! I was just trying to get to the reason it still sounded like it had verb on it is all!

Thanks Larry, after listening to it on my computer speakers I think the vocal needs to come down a bit. We'll see how that pans out as I add the background vocals.

James, I'm really pleased with your comment about the intro. I think you were right on the money there. I'd be interested how you hear it now.

I worked on that a little last night and couldn't quite get it to work in the song. If your serious about wanting to mix and master I just might take you up on that. It would give me the ability to direct compare how you approached it vs how I did. Not sure how to actually accomplish it though.

I think this sounds pretty good.

...except the drums. I don't hear overheads or room sound that is processed. I'm not sure the compressors are working the way they should on the drums also. (Attacks, releases). No transients getting thru.

I'd probably re-work them like you mentioned.

It's a good song, I'd keep perfecting it.

Jeff

Nice catchy song and you've nailed the happy-feel theme. Good catchy chorus.

My mixing nits (not to be confused with mixed nuts) are that I think it's a tad dry, a little touch of reverb might help, I did say a little. For this type of song, I would want to hear (or feel) the bass some more, I think it would assist with the 'jumpy' feel of the song. Hold on...correction, it's there, I think the vocals may need to take a step back a little.

I like the vocals, by the way, well done. Some supporting background voxs would be cool.

I enjoyed the song, aside from my 2-cent nits, it's a really cool song.

James!, I just listened to your mix/mastering for Continuum. I will send you whatever you want!