Well, I'm not one to point fingers, you understand. I mean, I've pounded on a keyboard on occasion. I'm not saying my feeble attempts to play keyboards are the reason I weigh more than my mini-van, but no other reasonable theories are stepping forward. Oh, sure. I knew someone would point out the old wive's tale that "eating one's own body weight in pizza" might have something to do with it. What's next? Are you going to claim that a complete and total lack of exercise could be a factor? I'll have you know that I've been known to walk from one room to another, for no reason whatsoever. Granted, that's largely due to the fact that I had forgotten why I went in there, but I think I've made my point.
All of this fingerpointing is hard. I need a nap. Well, I need a pizza and a nap.