Bapu's (and others) random thoughts for the day.

2012/05/17 17:16:31

Ham N Egz

I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specifically.

My house is made out of balsa wood, so when I want to scare the neighborhood
kids I lift it over my head and tell them to get out of my yard or I'll throw
it at them

2012/05/17 17:17:59

Ham N Egz

The other night I came home late, and tried to unlock my house with my carkeys.

I started the house up. So, I drove it around for a while.

I was speeding, and a cop pulled me over. He asked where I lived. I said, "right here, officer".

Later, I parked it on the freeway, got out, and yelled at all
the cars, "Get out of my driveway!"

2012/05/17 17:18:27

daryl1968

there's a song title over in the song forum 'short and intense' and I'm dieing to put 'that's what she said' as a comment but that would be wrong, right?

2012/05/17 17:20:04

Ham N Egz

I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window.

I put a new engine in my car, but forgot to take the old one out. Now my car goes 500 miles per hour.

The harmonica sounds *amazing*

2012/05/17 17:27:08

SteveStrummerUK

I bought a sat-nav the other day.

What a useless piece of junk. I had it on as I drove around the West Midland Safari Park. At one point it said, "Now, bear left."

I looked left - it was a monkey having a wank. Looked nothing like a bear.

2012/05/17 17:27:54

UbiquitousBubba

Long live Stephen Wright.

Genius.

2012/05/17 17:30:01

Ham N Egz

UbiquitousBubba

Long live Stephen Wright.

Genius.

+Ya its all in his delivery ... friggin pant whetting funny

2012/05/17 17:32:25

SteveStrummerUK

UbiquitousBubba

Long live Stephen Strummer.

Genius.

Now dats bettererer

2012/05/17 17:32:49

paulo

Does anyone else think that MM just put all those rubbish jokes up just to try and get to a page that didn't have...........

you know ...........................

a heart shaped monkeys arse on it........

2012/05/17 17:44:35

SteveStrummerUK

I just burnt my fingers in boiling oil and screamed "OOH OOH AAH AAH" like a monkey.

It was a chip pan, see.

Bapu's (and others) random thoughts for the day.

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