• Coffee House
  • Bapu's (and others) random thoughts for the day. (p.76)
2012/05/17 17:58:16
paulo
  A bloke starts his new job at the zoo and is given three tasks. First is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds.

As he does this a huge fish jumps out and bites him. To show who is boss, he beats it to death with a spade.

Realizing his employer won't be best pleased he disposes of the fish by feeding it to the lions, as lions will eat anything.

Moving on to the second job of clearing out the Chimp house, he is attacked by the chimps who pelt him with coconuts.
He swipes at two chimps with a spade killing them both.. What can he do?

Feed them to the lions, he says to himself, because lions eat anything.. He hurls the corpses into the lion enclosure.

He moves on to the last job which is to collect honey from the South American Bees.. As soon as he starts he is attacked by the bees. He grabs the spade and smashes the bees to a pulp. By now he knows what to do and shovels them into the lions cage because lions eat anything.

Later that day a new lion arrives at the zoo. He wanders up to another Lion and says "What's the food like here?"

The lions say: "Absolutely brilliant, today we had Fish & Chimps with Mushy Bees".
2012/05/17 18:02:12
daryl1968
paulo


Does anyone else think that MM just put all those rubbish jokes up just to try and get to a page that didn't have...........































you know ...........................























a heart shaped monkeys arse on it........













Simian heart shaped arse - brilliant

2012/05/17 18:10:49
SteveStrummerUK

My doctor doesn't like musicians....



Oh no.



He wouldn't see sick Steve.

2012/05/17 18:13:48
SteveStrummerUK

I walked into my local florist today. "I'll have the biggest bunch of flowers you have."

"Ooh, who's the lucky lady?" asked the assistant.

"It's my wife", I replied, "she's not feeling well."

"Oh dear. What is it?"

"Hay fever."

2012/05/17 18:19:56
bapu
MM avoided the theme of page 25 brilliantly.

Well played George (ITYRN)
2012/05/17 18:20:00
SteveStrummerUK

The husband lay dying. The wife was by his bedside, he said in a tired voice,"there's something I must confess."

"Shhh", said the wife, "there's nothing to confess, everything's all right."

"No" the husband replied "I must die in peace. I had sex with your sister, your best friend, her best friend and your best friends mum!"

"I know," she whispered, "that's why I poisoned you, you bastard."
2012/05/17 18:22:10
bapu
They're getting better and bettererer Straummy.
2012/05/17 18:23:57
bapu
paulo


2012/05/17 18:30:58
paulo
bapu


paulo




Yes it is, well spotted Bapu. There's no fooling you.
2012/05/17 18:35:05
SteveStrummerUK

What do you call an exploding Monkey?



























Baboom!

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