Hi Ed,
I loved everything about this except for a few little things...if you don't mind me saying so?
You have a plosive or something after the word "planet" at 0:16/17 or so.
The lead vocals seem like all the good low end has been stripped from them. The way (please don't be mad at me Daryl, I love your voice and how you sing, I swear!) I mentioned to Daryl that is voice sounded a bit high endy....you're getting that same thing. I just think the vocals (though they do sound good, are processed really well) it almost sounds like you are being a little too sub-conscious with high passing them to me. They need more body or something man.
Other than that, this is really well done for a short time. You have a good handle on this already. The snare fits the tune really well. Kick drum is over-powering the bass guitar a bit much for my ears.
Filtered guitar at 3:07 was a nice touch! See what is happening on that guitar? That is almost what I am hearing on those vocals. Like the good lows are just being stripped out a little too much. Again, they sound good...just could use a little more body in my opinion on the 3 sets of speakers I've listened on.
Eq's on everything else seem wonderful! Great job! If by chance you are high passing the crap out of those vocals, don't over-do it....you got some room to play with allowing more lows in there brother. :)
-Danny