Well, I totally enjoyed this! Great melody and lyric.
A couple of things stick out for me: The vocals have great range, but have some pitch issues, seem a little too wet with reverb (compared to the backing arrangement) and maybe could use a little EQ cut on the high end to tame them. Second, I think the bass seems to loud in places and the drums to low, so maybe some level changes and a bit more compression.
Very entertaining and well composed.