Not that it's a solution....but I have Superior Drummer along with EZ, had them way before Sonar offered AD Drums with Sonar. Superior was a great drum program (and probably still is on the top tier along with a few others) but a bit cumbersome compared to AD Drums.
Now I very rarely reach for Superior drummer. Overall though I do understand your disheartening feeling, you have a product and you want it to work especially when the product cost wasn't cheap.
Nothing against Toontrack, I think they have good products and they are a good company, but I have always found their registration and update system to be a bit foggy, but I haven't checked the updates in quite a while so forgive me if I am speaking on something that has since been ironed out over at Toontrack. They do have great products.