This is track 11 from the FreeEarCandy 2015 Collection. I recent reopened this project and have been fooling around with various things. This is the 3rd go at it. This version uses a softer vocal delivery and is again extended a few bars before the bridge and cut proportionally the same amount at the end. I'll leave the 2nd session posted for a short time .
 
2015 Playlist Link Here: https://soundcloud.com/us...rcandy-2015-collection
 
The original published in 2015, is a 3 Min Progressive tune, using acoustic guitar rhythms and leads, backed with drums, bass, strings, and vocal with harmonies. This new version is now a little over 4 mins. A cool tune about infidelity.
 
Thanks for listening and feel free to comment as you see fit. Would love to read your reactions.
 
Dean.

Very Floidish feel at times if not a bit rushed....biggest production advice I could give is spread the vox out a bit as everything seems to be too centered and with that positioning things seem to step on each other...
 
good work! 

very much like the beginning, very spacey feel, layered very well, it changes without changing.
@2:00 still no vocals, but I sure do like what you did, kind of has a FRESH AIRE feel to it, especially the keys.
 
nice arrangement, once the vocals come in I do hear the floyd influence, but it is still well done.   there is a lot going on here, and in my opinion you have done a fine job of weaving the parts in and out of each other.
 
It is early morning here, I just poured my first cup of coffee, decided to open the song forum, chose your song for first listen, and I'm glad I did.
 
I'm listening on headphones as to not wake the neighbors, so don't feel confident talking to much about the mix, but it does sound just fine from that perspective.
 
I really enjoyed this, a great way to wake up.  you have done a fine job.
 
How much time did you spend on this?
 
Jesse Q Screed
 
 

Hello Dean ,
 
I think I must have listened to 2 different versions of your song . The first one I listened to was the one you put up 3 days ago . On that one Yeah the vocals did seem pretty intense , I did enjoy you emotion of them ...
I'm listening with cans since it is pretty early over on The West Coast right now ...I felt that the mix had a lot of high end ..Drums and cymbals ?
I just got done with listening to your newer mix from 7 hours ago .  That whole track and mix to me sounded much warmer IMHO.
Overall, I think your tune is very creative ..
I enjoyed your instrumentation and the musical parts that were played in your song ..loved the acoustic guitars , synth layers , and bass part ..
The vocals seemed to be pulled back a bit intensity wise  ...there seemed to be a lot less anger in the way you sang them ... they seem to work better for this version of your tune ...also I happen to think the current drums fit this vocal better ...
If you were to use an intense vocal like the first version of your tune my suggestion would be to  try out some A$$ kicking heavier drums ...
 
that's all I have for now , your tune was a good listen
 
Kenny

thepogue
Very Floidish feel at times if not a bit rushed....biggest production advice I could give is spread the vox out a bit as everything seems to be too centered and with that positioning things seem to step on each other...
 
good work! 

 
Thanks for the review! I have 2 acoustic guitars playing-one left (60%) and the other right (60%). Lead G. is left (60%). Strings are right (60%). Drums & Bass center.  Vocals-1 center -left (60%) right (60%). So indeed, seems I have things on top of one another. You have good ears, whereas, I am losing mine along with the eyes. The only thing I can say to comfort myself with is I don't have monitor speakers-just head phones. Nevertheless, I can now see I've clustered too much together on this mix. Thanks for the heads up!
 

Jesse Screed
 
How much time did you spend on this?
 
Jesse Q Screed
 Thanks Jesse! I started putting this together around Oct 2015. At that time, it probably took me around 2 to 3 weeks to get the basic theme and feel set in soft stone. I had experience writers block and wrapped it up with only having the first group of lyrics. Between then and now Sonar updated a few times to the eventual platinum version + my knowledge increase some. So, I recently decided to go back and have another go at some of these older projects and see what I can do to improve, or as so inspired, add more to. In this case, I added the much needed second group of lyrics. Also using those wonderful new tools, trying to get a feel of the best way to use them in my work flow. My heart is really in just putting the songs together. The technical stuff is interesting and fun, but the truth is I'm not really good at it and depend more on my ears, which are not so good. But I'm having fun & learning as I go, and in the end, that's all that matters to me Jesse. Thanks for the nice review and happy you enjoyed it over your morning coffee.
 

kennywtelejazz
Hello Dean ,
 
I think I must have listened to 2 different versions of your song . The first one I listened to was the one you put up 3 days ago . On that one Yeah the vocals did seem pretty intense...
I'm listening with cans .....I felt that the mix had a lot of high end ..Drums and cymbals ?
 
I just got done with listening to your newer mix from 7 hours ago .  That whole track and mix to me sounded much warmer IMHO........
The vocals seemed to be pulled back a bit intensity wise.
 
Kenny

Thanks Kenny for the review. This second session was entirely focused on softening the vocals, as it was pointed out to me by others, who also had pretty much the same reaction you did-a bit harsh for the tune. What I think really happen to me here is I was struggling for lyrics to go with this tune, and IMHO I still don't think the lyrics fit the mood or this song properly-trying to fit a square peg into a round hole with this one. The musics comes easier than the proper words in most cases for me Kenny. Its a cool tune and its becoming more apparent to me I may have to rethink the lyrics and theme for this one. Glad you took the time to tell me your reactions and try to help me along. Much appreciated!



Dean.
 
 

Very interesting. It would be right at home in a "The Wall" sequel. You know, Pt 2 where someone else is supposed to pay for it.
 
I enjoyed the vocal experimentations, and the guitar work meets Floydian standards which is high praise. I also thought the lyrics had something to say. All good!
 
The beginning has an ambitious orchestrated intro, lots of jangly chimey things, and a cello, which works except maybe the flute/lead synth patch is a little synthy? It's hard to pick on you for that, for we all must deal with limited resources and you likely didn't have the London Philharmonic hanging around your backyard that day.
 
I listened twice and appreciated your arrangement even more. Good job!
 
Listen to the drum's reverb. Then listen to the piano's . . . you might add a little more rvb to the piano to match?
 
cheers,
-Tom
 
 

emeraldsoul
Very interesting. It would be right at home in a "The Wall" sequel. You know, Pt 2 where someone else is supposed to pay for it.

Ha! You mean that big, beautiful, invisible, I can dream of, spectacularly amazing and vertically enhanced wall? Well, ok if I don't have to pay for it and it comes with tunnels, trebuchet and ladders.
 
Thanks for the review Tom! I don't think I have piano in this tune...let me check.....nope! No piano. I bet you its next to the above mentioned wall and if it is someone else is going to pay for it too. 
 
:)
 
Stay well Tom!
Dean.