I always carry a pair of drumsticks in my car.  If I can't find a decent parking spot, I just throw them on the dash and use a handicap spot.

Q: – What’s the most common thing said to a bass player in a 3-piece suit?
A: – "Will the defendant please rise"

Q: What's the difference between a girl singer and a pit bull?
A: Lipstick.

How do you get a guitar player to turn down?  Pass him the sheet music..

How do you know if the stage is levelled (important info for the crew piling up the cabin towers)?
The drummer is drooling from both corners of his mouth.

Due to a shipwreck a bold team of musicians has endured on a deserted island for years. One day they get lucky, and find an oil lamp. Of course, rubbing it makes the genie show up. How come, the genie, gratefull for the liberation from his inprisonment promises to fullfill one wish for each of the guys.
So, speaks the guitarist:" I miss my dear wife and my children so. I wish to get back to them as soon as possible!" Whooooshh! Vanishes the guitarman.
The drummer:" I sort of, you know, miss the local pub and the ladies, you know,..I'd really like to get back to my favourite pub..." Whoooosh! Vanishes the drummer.

And so on...All the guys wish to get back to their own neighbourhood, families etc. Last in the line is the bass guitarist. "So...you're the last..What do you wish, my master?"
Standing alone on the empty beach goes the bassist: "Well...you know....I...I want my buddies back!"

How do you know if it's a drummer knocking on your door?

The knocks speed up/slow down


What do you call a guy who hangs around with the band?

A drummer

why does the singer stand on the front porch of her own house without going in?

she can't find the key.

What's the last thing a drummer says in a band?  "Hey guys, I have an idea for a song!"

A group was on safari in the jungle when they heard drums  playing.  Their guide says, "Must hurry.  We must leave before drums stop!"  

The safari members pick up the pace.  

Their guide repeats, "Must hurry.  We must leave before drums stop!"  

They pick up the pace even more.  Imaginations race.  Could they be cannibals or head-hunters?  

The drums are getting louder and faster.  Their guide repeats, "Must hurry.  We must leave before drums stop!"  

Finally, one of the group members asks, "What happens when the drums stop?"  

The guide says, "Bass solo."  

Old55


A group was on safari in the jungle when they heard drums  playing.  Their guide says, "Must hurry.  We must leave before drums stop!"  

The safari members pick up the pace.  

Their guide repeats, "Must hurry.  We must leave before drums stop!"  

They pick up the pace even more.  Imaginations race.  Could they be cannibals or head-hunters?  

The drums are getting louder and faster.  Their guide repeats, "Must hurry.  We must leave before drums stop!"  

Finally, one of the group members asks, "What happens when the drums stop?"  

The guide says, "Bass solo."  

Bwaaaah Haaaaa Haaaaaaa!!!!!

Old55


A group was on safari in the jungle when they heard drums  playing.  Their guide says, "Must hurry.  We must leave before drums stop!"  

The safari members pick up the pace.  

Their guide repeats, "Must hurry.  We must leave before drums stop!"  

They pick up the pace even more.  Imaginations race.  Could they be cannibals or head-hunters?  

The drums are getting louder and faster.  Their guide repeats, "Must hurry.  We must leave before drums stop!"  

Finally, one of the group members asks, "What happens when the drums stop?"  

The guide says, "Bass solo."  

Oooo!  A new one!  Me likey!