UbiquitousBubba


Ok.  It's really quite simple.

First, we get CraigB to use his shovel to tunnel under the walls of Graceland.  Beagle can stand guard to make sure no one notices.  Jonbouy can use his influence to persuade the Queen to add a weekend in Graceland to her jet-setting itinerary.  Upon hearing that the Queen is planning to visit, Patsy Presley will plan to meet her there.  Meanwhile, Bub will kidnap the Graceland kitchen staff using only bubble wrap, a stapler, three cherry pits, and a flamethrower.  Daryl and his monkeys will watch over our prisoners (and occasionally fling stuff at them).  Coffee House operatives will impersonate the kitchen staff with BayouBill posing as the chef.  In addition to cleaning out Graceland's supply of becan, the crew will replace Patsy's order of salmon with salmonella.  When Patsy heaves buckets, Juliebee will pose as a doctor.  This will work because no one ever questions a woman.  Well, not more than once, anyway.  Juliebee will call for an ambulance, which will arrive immediately.  Mesh and Starise will pose as the paramedics.  Patsy will get tossed into the back, and our fake paramedics will don sunglasses and drive towards Chicago while dodging the occasional attacks by Nazi extremists and vengeful Country and Western artists.  In the event that the plan goes awry, Karyn will cover their exit from a (cow)bell tower.  Meanwhile, Sir Strummy eats some vindaloo.  Anyway, upon arriving at the wedding site, the ambulance will power slide up to the sidewalk, flinging a projectile puking Patsy Presley out of the back.  Before she can react, Bapu will spray her down with a garden hose.  Hey, it's a wedding and she'd want to look nice.  Bapu and his LL can each take a Presley arm and lead her inside.  Sir Strummy, courtesy of his vindaloo, will provide sonic coverage for her "extraneous heaving noises".  We want this to be a classy affair after all. 

You see, it's not as hard or as complicated as you might think.

Why are we doing all that stuff at Graceland in Memphis Tennessee ....when patsy lives 5 minutes from me here in Zion, il ..... Maybe the same plan but closer ?

I got James Bond to escort the Queen to the Olympics.

I wasn't cheap but I made it happen.

Just sayin......

Come on!  Why would the Queen visit Zion, IL?  I only go there to visit the nuclear reactor's tanning facility.  I usually have the place all to myself.

Now is not the time to introduce complexities into the plan.  Such things could lead to overthinking the details.  Obviously, not in our case, but that could happen in some other situation with a completely different group of people in other circumstances.

Mooch when you consider I never even got an invite and now you're trying to lure some relative of Elvis to your wedding I'd say your sense of priorities is whacked.

Being a REAL friend I don't mind telling you that I think you need to step back and take a long hard look at yourself.

UbiquitousBubba


Come on!  Why would the Queen visit Zion, IL?

Now you understand the extent of the influence I have.

I could make it SEEM important for her to visit when I tell her that Mooch is some kind of big deal.  She wouldn't take his word for it but she'd listen to me.

She's a pretty nice girl.

JB, isn't that the Chosen One's job?

UbiquitousBubba


JB, isn't that the Chosen One's job?

She has a right to overlook things, it's better that it comes from me in this instance.

He'll thank me for it later.  Wait and see.

Bubba's plan has simplicity.

I like that.

JB, The LL is not going to the wedding*. You wanna be my +1 (or Ja, Da, Ya, Becan.... whatever)?

*She's heard too many stories about Mooch and she's afraid I'm gonna sing all my tributes to him at the reception (I was sure I told noone about this plan)

JB, The LL is not going to the wedding*. You wanna be my +1 (or Ja, Da, Ya, Becan.... whatever)?

No, I want him to invite me so I can politely make my excuses and decline the invite.

Got it.

You mean like "I live half way around the world and it would cost me thousand to go"?

Then finish up with ".. but that's not the problem. Patsy's visiting me that weekend."