Alright. I've went on such a long journey. I've learned many things along the way as well and ya know what?...
THEY FINALLY WORK!!!
TL;DR
Try running steam.exe as an admin first. Then try doing ALL the updates (all the important ones anyway). THEN try closing the virus program.
Full story.
I first learned that even though Windows looks like it's not updating hundreds of updates (I had like 100, then I had about 64 more... then one more. After that it still didn't work. I checked the FAQs, disabled Malwarebytes (reluctantly might I add), and then BOOM, out of disk space... OH NO WHAT DO!?
Then I searched and found something called LinkShellExtention and learned all about the magic of Symbolic Links and Junctions (AKA: quantum file management).
THen after hours of updating, reinstalling SONAR, and rebooting, I decided to run Steam itself as an admin. Now I don't know which of those things fixed it... but it FINALLY WORKS!!! Thank God it FINALLY FLAPPING WORKS!!! I honestly think it was the idea that I had to run steam in admin mode though.
Thank you guys SO MUCH for all the help and support. I really appreciate it. :)