Randy, you dodged the imaginary bullet with that one buddy! Well done and thanks for the amusing story!

I always hate weddings - doesn't matter if it's in 101F or -4F, with or without alchohol (certainly easier with) or all the BBQ in the world!

But people get married and eventually you're all out of valid excuses not to go. And you get free food that you probably couldn't be bothered making your self (at least when you're a bachelour like me self) Might as well make the most of it

Great story! 

 
rsp@odyssey.net


I found a small table next to the barn, which I commandeered to a shady spot near a treeline and set up camp. I was able to keep one eye on my car, and the other on the DJ, who I really can't see anything more of other than his cankles. My plan at this point is when he inevitably goes down, the ensuing mayhem will allow an escape. I'm somewhat hopeful I'll be able to grab my wife on the way out, but at this point I'm in a "everyman for himself" kinda mood. 



Randy

I had never heard of "cankles" before...I had to look it up.  I wish I hadn't...

Two hours later, at approximately 3:00, the DJ that's been hired for the festivities starts playing music in the barn. The DJ is a young man of roughly 27 years old, and has obviously spent most of those years eating macaroni and cheese in vast quantities. He's got to weigh at least 325 pounds and is dressed in black from his considerable neck to toes and is wearing a tie. The sun is shining through a window directly on his back and he is sweating as if in front of a firing squad. He begins with great energy, but soon loses his stamina and is quickly reduced to laying back in his chair and mumbling between every other song or so. I'm convinced he's going to die.....soon.

Great story Randy.






Could have been worse.




























Could have been R1ck Ryan...

address please.

Randy, you could have been in the Band(had there been one) doing that gig... At least you will receive a concession and a favour returned... CHOOSE WISELY not door # 3....

ProjectM

It is such a good thing I don't drink coffee as it would have been all over the monitor, keyboard desk and my shirt.


LMAO^{3,987.98626485}!!!!!!!

There must be at least twelve songs in there somewhere.  I'm not saying anyone should write them, but they are there.

Although the crowds around the Mercedes might make a funny one.  :)

"Mercedes with a trailer hitch" sounds like a good chorus. 

Randy, I'm glad you lived to tell the tale and share it with us.  $1000 wasn't enough because the story is priceless. 

Reminds me of this movie about a town that Death forgot about.  What you get are a bunch of people all over 100 years old (by far), living in this Western-looking town set in the early 1,800's.  Then Death shows up to figure out what he's missed and he shows up in a cutting-edge (for the year the movie was made) white Mercedes.  He ends up blowing out a tire and, while he's off trying to decide what to do, the townsfolk "fix" the car for him by attaching a covered wagon wheel.   It ends with him driving off (with the "fixed" wheel) and leaving the town alone since they were willing to help him.  No idea what the title was though!

Hehe, I love a good wedding.  Never been to one though...