It's hot in Kansas right now.  Not the hottest temperature ever experienced by humanity, but hot.  It's been hot for awhile.  It's going to be hot for the foreseeable future. 
 
Here's the problem.  To combat the heat, the building management has turned the air conditioning down to about 2 kelvin.  It's beyond freezing in here.
 
To delay the onset of hypothermia, I've taken to pouring hot coffee on myself.  I had a fire going in the cubicle next to me, but it froze.  My coworkers are all getting freezer burn. 
 
Fortunately, I'm naturally more insulated than most.  I'm counting on that to get me through the next 6 -7 hours before I can get out of here.
 
I'm now contemplating survival scenarios...

Try an IV of habanero sauce. 

Old55


Try an IV of habanero sauce. 

It may take a day to feel the heat, but you're going to pay for it one way or the other.

At this point, I'd go for mainlining napalm.

Napalm.  It's not just for mornings anymore...

UbiquitousBubba


At this point, I'd go for mainlining napalm.

Napalm.  It's not just for mornings anymore...

Like that famous commercial: "You're in good hands with ArseState....the goodarse people"

If their hands are warm, I don't much care where they've been.

Being that hot outside and making it extremely cold inside is just a recipe to get sick.
We had the same issue when I was in Vegas and the temp was 115-120F outside.

Start a riot and yell FIRE!!

I thought of doing that just to lure the meat closer.

I'm thinking it may be time to recreate the survival scene from Alive.

  Some of the systems out here in the east were not really designed for more than 95F. Getting up above that they start to loose capacity and effectiveness...so if the system in your building can do that at over 100F the engineering is pretty good.

 Time does tend to slow down at 2 kelvin though. If it gets much colder than that you might be reading this again tomorrow in a time warp. I doubt you will remember reading it though.I have had a good coffee shower and they are not too bad if you use caffinated.The de caff. tended to dry my extemities out.
 
I would hunt down the thermostat gestapo and maybe try to convince them that you are not like hung meat.

I'd say a few breaks of walking outside should make your igloo feel more welcome.