I monitor the loudness of songs as I mix them using an European Broadcasting Union (EBU) meter. This has a thing that measures loudness over time. I tend to target -14 dB for most music, but sometimes go for -12.
When I measure LANDR masters, the lightest level of compression is usually around -13.2 dB loudness averaged over the song.
In any case, I imagine I'm bending something fragile to squish it into a box. I want to bend it as little as necessary to fit in the box I have for it.
To this end, I balance the various bending I do. I try to limit very little. The Concrete limiter shows how many dB it has limited at the max if you keep it open during playback. This is handy. Usually if it goes over 2 dB, I look to notch the spots with a volume envelope or perhaps add some lighter compression to the track that's causing the limiting.
So...
Playback and watch EBU meter. Set limiting sufficient to get to desired level on EBU meter (like -14).
If limiting is too much or becomes noticeable, increase compression only until you get the average loudness you seek with the limiting restrictions you set for yourself.
Now, one song, you may have to increase compression and limiting and another song you can back off compression and limiting. This may be counter-intuitive. In other words, Loud songs may need less compression and quiet ones may need more. It depends on the musicians playing the songs, but a loud distorted guitar often needs very little compression. The distortion IS the compression.
When a band has every song played loudly where the loudness is steady, that's when I consider mastering it to -13 or -12 dB. There are few peaks that need to be limited to get those extra few dB.
I've heard a lot of mixes mastered much louder than -12 dB, but I never do that. These are like the LANDR loud mixes. It just doesn't do it for me.
Now, when I finish with a show, all my tracks are roughly the same loudness. I might say this track needs a little more bass, or I want to hear more vocal there. Loudness, however, is constant.
It is true that one band mastered to -14 I can listen to at a nice high volume on my stereo where another also mastered to -14 will cause me to turn it down. Again, this might indicate that the first of the two could be upped to -12 dB.