I'm looking for a control that I can turn or slide with the mouse that I can assign to velocity and adjust the velocity with it till I find what I'm looking for AND know what the value of what I find is.

 
Ignoring everything else for the moment (not having read it all yet), the answer to this is the Vel+ (velocity offset) control in the track header. It's a nondestructive offset that is added (negative values subtract) to the event velocities on playback. You can use the control directly or automate it with a velocity offset envelope.
 
Another thing you can do is create a track of 127 events at regular intervals, scale the velocities from 1 to 127, and freeze it to see and hear what every hit sounds like, where the samples switch, and what the overall curve looks like. I use this technique regularly when building SFZ instruments or analyzing a synth to see how well it's put together, or to investigate what's going on with a problematic patch (like the wood block sound in BFD Eco that actually gets quieter at the top of the velocity range).
 
 

You need to let go of this mistaken notion that the high hats, or any part of the kit, have a "sweet spot" which sounds good at only one velocity value.

 
I would agree with that to a point, but there are definitely synths/patches that have "sour" spots you might want to avoid. I've often adjusted the overall velocity of a track or just the "loudest" notes down because they were hitting a velocity-switching sample that stuck out badly.
 
There are many ways to figure out where velocity switching points are on the fly. Sometimes I'll just loop a section of a track and tweak the velocity of the offending note until I hit the switch point, and then use Interpolote to adjust the rest of them. Or I'll launch MIDI-OX and play different velocities on the keyboard while watching the monitor to zero in on the offending velocity. 

brundlefly
... the answer to this is the Vel+ (velocity offset) control in the track header. It's a nondestructive offset that is added (negative values subtract) to the event velocities on playback. You can use the control directly or automate it with a velocity offset envelope.

That's it! Never noticed that control before. This way I can set Interpolate the velocity to 0 and offset it with the control and zero in on what I'm looking for!
Thanks!!!

This way I can set Interpolate the velocity to 0

I have no learned - after being beaten repeatedly about the head and shoulders - that the Event Inspector is faster than our older and wiser friend, Interpolate, when you just want to set everything to one fixed velocity or duration. 

I've never tried setting multiple events in the event view list to one value, that's why I use interpolate.

Correction, never had the event inspector toolbar up before, nice! Thanks for the heads up!
Is there a hot key so I can bring it up instead of having it float or docking it to the toolbar?

Regarding midi values and Addictive Drums.. ive noticed that the side snare hit for example wont change the volume of the velocity of the sound hit sometimes, the number will change and stay but the hits volume is unlike the previous or next hit even though the velocity and volumes are the same in the midi track. Im still experimenting with Addictive drums but their maybe a bug.. or maybe some built in humanizing happening somewhere.. Im using Platinum. win7 8core 12gig maudio 610..