I found a YouTube video where some dedicated soul patiently stepped through every single factory preset on the SR18. As expected, 95% of them are useless to me, but it gave me enough of a preview of the sound set to know it would do the trick - although I'll have to spend some time programming it first.
The local music store didn't have one to try, so purely on the strength of you guys' helpful information I went ahead and ordered it via eBay. $175 with shipping, plus another $55 for a dual footswitch from Sweetwater. I just happened to have exactly $175 in my pocket in gig money, so I'm only $55 in the hole.
Now to work up to something I haven't done in 20 years: a solo gig. It's just background ambient music for a fundraiser and only for a couple of hours. Pay is crap but every little bit helps - plus they'll have food. I'll be lining my pockets with Ziploc bags in preparation.