I usually mix so the loudest peak is to -0.1.
I use A limiter but usually never trim more than 1 or 2 db with the limiter.
I measure average loudness with an EBU128 meter. I use a compressor to ensure the limiter doesn't have to trim too much. If I need more loudness on the EBU meter,
I might push the compression, raise the gain into the limiter, keeping the amount limited equivalent but pushing up the average volume.
I might back off compression if my average loudness is causing me not to limit at all and leaving unused headroom.
In the mix, up try to accent the essential and leave the obvious vague. I try to make sure the listener can entrain to the most interesting aspects of the song.