If either of you cannot "kill Sonar" it's almost certainly drivers or plugins. More likely drivers if only a reboot will resolve it (HAL is locking something).
If plugins are ruled out then it's drivers/firmware. If both of you have similar systems hardware then bingo (so sure not saying your question about running VRM is invalid), other than that likelyhood is both of you have got a dodgy driver (or related firmware) somewhere, but probably a different one. First thing to do is update your audio interface and drivers in your instance (it looks like you aren't going to do this so you can't rule this out as an issue, so basically this is a standstill.. fair enough if that's what you want

).
Yet another suggestion... Have any of you tried the delete AUD.INI trick? (google for details)... Ta...
Anyway I think everything possible here has been suggested it's just a matter going through it one by one.
It's definitely
not a Sonar bug, if Sonar was a possibility it would crash and then be able to start without needing a reboot or being killed in task manager.. Sonar does not have priority over the operating system here, however drivers do.
BTW software being locked out by drivers is fairly common...