unfortunately you're choosing to use a soundfont player, which means you're not going to be able to choose the instruments by changing settings in MC, you have to change them in the soundfont player itself, which you're beginning to understand. that DEFINE button is not part of MC, it must be part of the soundfont player you're using.
also unfortunately, I can't help much with that soundfont player because I'm not familiar with it (and I really just don't have time to download it and fiddle with it to help - it's not something I would use anyway).
is there a reason you're trying to use this particular soundfont player instead of using some of the tools included with MC? MC includes Cakewalk SoundCenter which has some really good sounds in it. it also has SI Drums and maybe some other SI instruments, I can't remember for certain which ones came with MC7 since I have Sonar as well (they all get installed and are usable on both platforms).