Yes, Sonar can't deal well with delay compensation on sends changing during playback (or apparently similar scenarios where looping confuses it), which results in phasing sometimes.
But, addressing this bit in the first post -
"the reverb is only supposed to send back the wet signal, and not the dry, so I was expecting to hear nothing sent back" - no. The send outputs everything you push through it. It has no notion of what is 'wet' and what is 'dry' - only your plugins know that. So, if your reverb on a send channel is just outputting 100% of your original signal (because it is set to 100% dry), then you will hear 200% of your original signal, 100% from the original track, and 100% from the send.
This means that it is down to you, when you insert something on a send bus, to set the output to 100% 'wet' and 0% 'dry', if you are just trying to blend in an effect. (Some effects are 100% wet by definition - like most EQs or compression - so either you use them as an insert instead, or you are deliberately using them to 'double' the initial sound, usually with some sort of extreme processing on the send acting as some sort of interesting effect.)