steverobbins
Finally a solution. This worked for me. I found an obscure text in the help files. But apparently (with the cakewalk generic compressor/gate) the left channel drives the side chain to affect the right channel. that is then kicked out in mono panned center.
Send the driver signal to a bus panned hard left. Send the channel to be affected to the same bus panned hard right. I sent it direct rather than used an aux send by changing the output to the bus and having the bus going to the master bus. This attenuated the signal I wanted to affect in all the right places.
I hope this helps someone else in the future.
Too much hassle.
Did you missed the Waves giveaway (OneKnob Pumper)?
If you did, then check this plugin: TAL Filter 2
Free plugin, just drop the .dll file in your plugin folder, choose volume as modulation type, adjust BPM Factor, and draw your sidechaining curve.
Easy as cheesy

.
EDIT: woops, link didn't show up, google it.
EDIT²: You still can get Waves OneKnob Pumper for free this Cyber Monday! Hurry!