I've had also some out of sync issues with MIDI and synths in Sonar. But only if I was looping a section and changed the length of that section during play. When I stopped and restarted then there was no issue in my case.
I don't know if it helps you Sharke, but I can tell you that I always use the audio of synths for mixing. But in my workflow I have first a "synth" project for the song, then export the synths to audio files and mix in a NEW project. Like that I have almost no problems with Sonar, also with my computer's performance.