So using some downloaded MIDI tracks, a common thing is for the hi hat hits to be very stiff and have pretty much no variation at all in volume, which contributes to the stiff feel. I'm still learning Platinum somewhat and don't fully understand how to use the controller graph below the notes (if that's even the best way) to alter the volume and feel of the HH hits....is there a quick and easy method for giving them some more humanlike variety in terms of emphasing the strong downbeats? I have NEVER had any luck using the quantize feature, ever! Every single thing I've tried over years and years just ends up not being what I wanted so I abandon that. 

Here's what I'd do, taking a Hi Hat Tip MIDI note for example.

Amend the MIDI Drum map to reflect 3 channels of this same sound.
Channel 1:  Use this for the notes you want to be stronger and more controlled.  usually the whole, 1/2, or 1/4 beats.
Channel 2:  Use this for about half the notes not being hit on Channel 1.  Then, highlight the entire line of notes and pull the velocity down until it sounds less mechanical.
Channel 3:  Program whatever notes you want that haven't already been programmed in channels 1 or 2.  Then highlight the entire line of notes and change the velocity (don't let it match channel 2). 
 
So if you're playing 16ths on the hi hat, it would be (Channel:)  1323132313231323; stronger hits on the quarter notes, softer on the 16ths, and the 8th notes being somewhere between the two.
Then maybe highlight the entire MIDI clip and randomize a bit.
 
It's more work, but most of it can be done by dragging with a mouse and then mass-changing.  And it usually sounds varied enough to hide the lack of humanity.

Kind of outdated technology but, you might try playing the part.

I keep all drum midi info on one track. 
With hi-hats, varying the velocity (which should trigger different sample layers) will help a lot. I usually play the part initially, (which also helps a lot.) but end up tweeking the entire kit performance later in piano roll to get as close to "real" as I can. I use a lot of different hi-hat samples. Same goes for snare. Snare and hat require the most work to get "real".
 
For fills, I either play them, or add them manually via piano roll, but I'm careful to not keep every hit on the grid. Drummers usually rush fills a bit. You'll know when it feels right (or wrong.)
 
A little swing or groove quantizing can help as well depending on the groove.
 
Of course if you're banging out EDM with one shot drum samples, then none of this applies. 

timidi
Kind of outdated technology but, you might try playing the part.

timidi
Kind of outdated technology but, you might try playing the part.

my timing on drum taps on a pad or something is all over the map lol

Slugbaby
 
...Amend the MIDI Drum map to reflect 3 channels of this same sound.
Channel 1:  Use this for the notes you want to be stronger and more controlled.  usually the whole, 1/2, or 1/4 beats.
Channel 2:  Use this for about half the notes not being hit on Channel 1.  Then, highlight the entire line of notes and pull the velocity down until it sounds less mechanical.
Channel 3:  Program whatever notes you want that haven't already been programmed in channels 1 or 2.  Then highlight the entire line of notes and change the velocity (don't let it match channel 2). 
 
So if you're playing 16ths on the hi hat, it would be (Channel:)  1323132313231323; stronger hits on the quarter notes, softer on the 16ths, and the 8th notes being somewhere between the two.

 
I would make the fourth beat slightly weaker than the second. This would mean having 4 channels instead of 3. The pattern would then become:
1324132413241324

Adjusting velocities in the controller lane is very easy. You can just "chop off" the vertical bars with a swipe of your mouse (button held down) very quickly, so it's a straightforward task to give emphasis to certain notes. I would suggest getting used to editing velocities in the controller lane because it's honestly the quickest way to do it manually. 
 
There are other ways to "humanize" hats which are however not possible in Sonar's piano roll. For instance when I'm editing drums in Geist's step sequencer I can slightly randomize the pitch of each hat hit, or even the sample start time (so that certain hits have slightly less attack). If your drum VST allows fine pitch adjustment you might want to try randomizing it with automation (I think the smart tool has a "random" brush for automation, right?). 

I'm assuming you have a version with Addictive drums installed. You can drag the midi file into addictive drums.
 
Go to the 'BEATS' section of addictive drums2. Drag the header of the midi file from the track view into the title bar for the beat in Addictive drums (under the green and red play and record icon). Then you can use the Velocity range, accents and random time and velocity controls  in AD2. You can drag it back as a new midi file when you are happy, and drop it onto a track.
 
You could just isolate the hats into a separate midi file first if you just wanted the hats affected.
 
Program straight 8ths rides, with some added sixteenths with the same velocity and drop in AD2. the controls can really add some life into it.   

Kamikaze
I'm assuming you have a version with Addictive drums installed. You can drag the midi file into addictive drums.
 
Go to the 'BEATS' section of addictive drums2. Drag the header of the midi file from the track view into the title bar for the beat in Addictive drums (under the green and red play and record icon). Then you can use the Velocity range, accents and random time and velocity controls  in AD2. You can drag it back as a new midi file when you are happy, and drop it onto a track.
 
You could just isolate the hats into a separate midi file first if you just wanted the hats affected.
 
Program straight 8ths rides, with some added sixteenths with the same velocity and drop in AD2. the controls can really add some life into it.   

did not know you could do that. cool way of editing pattern