When We're Gone

https://soundcloud.com/orygun/when-were-gone

Inspired by  Dust In The Wind by Kansas.

Not ready for prime time, esp the lyrics, but I wanted to get an  opinion on the vocal track.
I used Melda MUnison to get a double tracking/harmonizing kind of effect and I thought it made a significant improvement on my vocal.
Comments and suggestions much appreciated.  Thanks for listening.



Indiginus Strum Maker
OTS Strawberry
Kirk Hunter strings
NI Scarbee MM Bass
Addictive Drums
Vir2 Acou6tics


A moment of a life caught in a photograph
A whisper from the past
This is you in a time so long ago.

Faces  so familiar
You used to  know their names
Now they're gone
Just a picture remains

All that I am are the memories
Memories of my days
And that world in my mind
Will fade away

When it is over
All the  worries, all the fighting
Waste of time and our time is all gone  

All that I am are the lessons learned  from  life.
All  those days now forgotten  
But I had lived through every one

A picture of a moment
Of a day
Thrown away

And at the end when our time slips away  
Then will we know
How precious was today

All we believed to be real all life long
All an illusion   
At the end when we're gone

Hi, well like all your work, it has a message. I think the song overall (Chord changes ) is good but maybe if you gated off the breathy vocal, and tried to bring the lead guitar down a tad I think it may work, that said I do like the lyrics. Thanks for sharing
Steve  

thanks Steve
Yeah, I need to do some de-essing for sure or play with the EQ.   I agree the lead gtr needs some toning down.

I like the flangy voice.  It's unique, you should do it more.  I feel the point of life is to learn how to love.  Once you attain that, and love others as you love yourself life has more meaning.  I'm not an existentialist like Heidegger.  At least einstein gnu his relationship to the universe; it was heart felt.  We should lead with the heart as well.

Thanks David
I appreciate the comment on the vocal treatment.
And yeah, totally agree with the rest of what you said.

The lyrics I wrote were supposed to be in keeping with the "Dust in the Wind" view,
cliched as they are. And though we've heard the observations before (all we are is dust in the wind...) the truth in those words still smack you in the head if you think about it.

I thought the guitars were at the correct level. The drums were too far back.   Vocals almost to far forward. 
It's a nice arrangement, well done, 
I myself didn't like the vocal doubling but that's just me. I like vocals plain and un altered. It made it hard for me to follow the lyrics. It's a cool effect if that was the point but if it's just you trying to make your self sound "better" no, it's not. I think I'd like to hear it with more "you" 

Not really my kind of music, but I appreciate the message and sentiment! Don't know if I like the vocal doubling or not. It was neat, but I think what might help you more than anything is to sing loud and from your gut. Pretend you're Bing Crosby.  (Yeah, like I should be giving out advice on vocals....)
 
Bill

Nice lyric.  I agree with Sock Monkey --- I think that the drums need to come forward a bit.  I like the lead guitar work, especially the tone.
 
Nice one!!

sock monkey
Thanks for the suggestions. My vocals do tend to be too much forward. I don't even notice it until days later or someone points it out.

Bill
Well, I don't know about Bing Crosby. I actually took singing lessons once, not that it shows or anything.

Freddy
Thanks for listening.

I liked the composition and lyrics. And arrangement too.
Vocal track is good with nice effect. Drums are bit quiet on mix.
Well done song of the life, a bit melancholy but beautiful