Hi fine forum folk
Here's a new song I wrote about missing the current Mrs Daryl1968 when I have to travel with work.
Nits and crits welcome
 
https://soundcloud.com/skyblueproductions/lilibet
 
Lilibet
Written and performed by Staypress
 
V1
You look good enough to eat and the best I've ever seen
You're like a fine wine - you'll be a traveler's dream
When I walk through the door, I've been half way round the world
Everything will feel much better
 
Prechorus
..and it's my third night in a standard deluxe, without much sleep
It's a quarter past one
One flight under my belt and time doesn't fly when you're not having fun
 
Chorus
Lilibet, I really do miss you so
As I board the jet, i really don't want to go
 
V2
You look good enough to eat in your glad rags of green
You're a sight for sore eyes, you're the best I've ever seen
I want to scoop you up and keep you in my sweater
Bring you out when I'm low, make me feel better
I've missed you and kissed you a hundred times before
But this time we've missed time to catch up and more
Next time I'll take you and never forsake you
Absence makes the heart grow fonder
 
Prechorus
 
Chorus
Lilibet, I really do love you so
I'm glad we met, I really don't want to go
Lilibet, I really do miss you so
As I board the jet, I really don't want to go
 
Chorus goes on and on and on ad infinitum
Sorry for all the cheesy key changes

Lurvely mate. Except, it looks like those at www.beyondmydaw.com have to come here to listen?

It Am a good song though.

And those standard deluxe are not so deluxe are they?  Sweet pop song with classic if somewhat cheesy key changes to fade. Nicely done Daryl.

Nice Pop song with sixties vibe. Pleasant to listen to well done music.
I liked the melody and mood. Good mix and sounds.

I immediately liked that intro rhythm, hooked already.
 
I like that the mix elements include something trashy in the bass, to perfectly offset the brightness of the vocals, the higher tones of the supporting organ, and the hi hats. You might put an ear on your vocals, just a couple of sibilant spots, some sss's and t's popped out.
 
Ooooh, love the chorus, the harmonies especially. And the modulation of it! And the ending! And the breakdown in the middle!
 
The chorus sticks in the ear quite pleasantly. Very well done.
 
cheers,
-Tom

Lovely song mate and I bet the Mrs. really appreciates this. Another goodun from the Staypress Factory!!

bapu
Lurvely mate. Except, it looks like those at www.beyondmydaw.com have to come here to listen?

Thanks mate. I will post it there later.

Wookiee
And those standard deluxe are not so deluxe are they?  Sweet pop song with classic if somewhat cheesy key changes to fade. Nicely done Daryl.

I like cheese - thanks a lot Wookster 

Nice British Music Hall style! Very interesting melodic line! Superb! Nice drum section, mixed really well! Some sections the vocals could come up a tiny bit maybe. Maybe the vocals could have been sung with a little more punch but the soft ethereal feel is nice and relaxing too, easy on the ears. It is a matter of taste and style I think. Good either way, you pulled it off.  :)