Geesh. Getting kinda picky here aren't we?
 
I don't overthink it much. The pick makes a nice thing to bite on while I play. Sometimes it comes out and I use it. Then I remember how I don't like using it. If I get tired of biting it I put it on the table and make a guitar face. Guitar faces can be cool. Some people can't tell the difference. Do what you like to do. Enjoy it. Life is short.

Damn, think I'm starting to get the hang of this...

The information you're getting in here is like drinking water out of a fire hose. 
 
Lots of great technique and advice in this thread.  2 things though...do *not* ignore your pinky and ring finger.  Those are the two fingers hardest to control, and it takes a bit to gain control of them.  A simple stair step finger picking pattern is perfect - assign high E to your pinky, B to your ring finger...etc, and, starting real slow, work through it.  It's a little tedious, uncomfortable, at first.  
 
Use a metronome, at least for serious practice.  I didn't realize how bad my pinky and ring finger were mangling the tempo until I started practicing to a metronome.  My thumb and first two fingers feel naturally right and play smoothly to the tempo, then my last two fingers would get out of sync, just enough to notice it's not fluid.  
 
Tosin Abasi, from the video above, recommends it too.  

It helps me to think of it as a pluck. They don't pick harps. 
Pickin' Pluckin" I guess it don't matter unless it matter to you.

Voda is absolutely correct in that you REALLY need to ensure all fingers are up to the task.
 
I will point out though that the "pinky/little" finger is rarely used or even really recognized in more traditional techniques. That's not to say it is a useless appendage BUT simply because it is so much shorter and unweildly I would not focus as much on your pinky (it doesn't even merit a letter name in the PIMA system).
 
That said I, again, am a firm believer in rule breaking and there are obviously lots of players who will incorporate it (I mostly just use it as a light lead in to a "flamenco" style flourish and it's a good string muter when needed). Just saying that most players don't really use it... at least not as definitive plucking finger.
 
Developing it is laudible but unlike the fretting pinky is not nearly as critical and may even hinder progress.
 
Just my thoughts on the matter. YMMV.
 
Cheers and keep at 'er.
 
 

Starise
It helps me to think of it as a pluck. They don't pick harps. 
Pickin' Pluckin" I guess it don't matter unless it matter to you.

Hi Starise. Tirando is absolutely very similar to harp playing. You just gotta a be a little more careful so as not to snap the strings against the fretboard (unless that is your goal).

Guys,
As always, blessed by the advice and the wisdom. Goal for me at this point is being able to pick up a guitar and not feel like I have to have a pick to play. Getting there. Then can go back and forth to get the best of either world without being stuck in either space.
John

Ya, man. You've gotten lots of great advice here and there is just reams of tuts on the internet/in print about this type of thing but it is an extremely broad and subjective/style specific topic.
 
This is where you need to sort through it all and figure out what works for you and your goals.
 
I've always taken you as folksy campfire plucking building up to maybe Knopfler and/or heaby bluegrass type stuff.
 
That crazy "Djent" aand hyper technical finger stuff is impressive but just like 8 finger tapping was back in the day for me... is it really worth it for what I am trying to acheive?
 
For me the answer was... nope.
 
Again, explore and develop any technique that facilitates your style. You will never run out of exercises/styles to goof around with so it is good too focus on the ones that work for you... now (especially if you are older). You can add in other things later on top of the fundamentals if you so desire which are generally based on those fundamentals anyway (they are fundamentals for a reason).
 
Cheers.

Beepster
 
I will point out though that the "pinky/little" finger is rarely used or even really recognized in more traditional techniques. That's not to say it is a useless appendage BUT simply because it is so much shorter and unweildly I would not focus as much on your pinky (it doesn't even merit a letter name in the PIMA system).
 
Developing it is laudible but unlike the fretting pinky is not nearly as critical and may even hinder progress.
 
Just my thoughts on the matter. YMMV.
 
Cheers and keep at 'er.

 
Full disclosure, I've only been finger picking for a couple years now.  It was a technique I ignored for 30 years. 
 
I would say it depends on what you're trying to achieve and what you're trying to play or create.  If you're goal is to learn traditional techniques, learn your favorite radio songs and such, it's probably not an important appendage.  
 
But if you're trying to maximize your options, which for me was important reason to learn finger picking in the first place, then it needs to be developed with the rest of your fingers.  Also, personal experience only here, it minimizes hand movement and cleans up sloppy playing.  
 
For instance, I've got a song I'm working on in 130 BPM, with three beats per beat...err, per thingy...something like that.  Basically a triplet pattern per beat, and that's a pretty fast pattern for me and has taken months to get up to speed, staying in tempo and playing clean.  It is a 12 note pattern that is kind of Travis picking in the first half dancing between the low E and the A, D, G then finishing off with a B-E-B-G on the bottom strings - and that requires good pinky and ring finger management there, otherwise you're dropping your hand down to get to the B-E-B-G pattern and then lifting back up to do the Travis E-A, E-D, E-G pattern, over and over again.  
 
For me, that will create a sloppy result.  So, I think it just depends on what you want to do with this technique.  I find that hand movement creates slop, and that keeping it in place while the fingers work makes it tighter and cleaner.  That requires strong pinky control to do interesting patterns that involve the high E string, as far as I can tell.  
 
 
  
 

Beepster
 
That crazy "Djent" aand hyper technical finger stuff is impressive but just like 8 finger tapping was back in the day for me... is it really worth it for what I am trying to acheive?
 
For me the answer was... nope.

 
I identify with this sentiment so much.  I absolutely love the djent style, although there's some irritating baggage that comes with it, and it's so impressive visually and audibly.  The level these players are at, and the discipline it takes to get there is admirable.  
 
But I'm 47 and I'm not throwing away 30 years of my style to start all over again...I'm officially old and boring now.  
 
It's not worth what I'm trying to achieve to learn all of that stuff, but it is interesting to mess with, and like all musical styles I'm just going to rob the parts of the genre I like - that I can actually DO - and fold it into what I do and move forward...