This is a good one, Lynn.  Great lyrics.  The drum instrumentation reminds me of DEVO.  You always seem to come up with something interesting sound wise. 

John, thank you for your time and kind words.  I had to listen to DEVO to hear what you hear, but I now know where you're coming from.  I thought those drums sounded a little retro, now I know why.

I definitely hear a little 80's new wave as far as the music, but when you start singing it all changes. Great vocals.

Bob, thank you for listening and replying.

Someone above above commented "gutsy" and I agree. It's a killer pop song, with catchy chorus and plucky little guitar riffing in the left speaker. I too also pictured this as in the middle 80's somewhere.
 
I'd add "gritty" and as you have a little crunch on the vocals, you seem to be matching it with some hair on the snare. Soundtoys Decapitator on both perhaps? What is adding the grit? For me, you might lower the grit on either the vocal, or the snare. They compete and make a grit fest in the upper mids. Am I all wet here? 
 
If you listen to around 2:17, the snare drops out completely in a breakdown section. Here, your effected vocal really pops out and there's more clarity. But you need a snare of course. It sounds like youve got the snare panned a little right, and the main vocal a little left. The vocal echo comes in on the right? Where is the snare panned in relation to the vocal echo? MAybe they are crowding each other.
 
Vocal performance is killer and the parts are all there and played well. The drums overall have a very crunched, compressed sound and I'd be curious if a more modern breathable drum sound might do this a treat. What did you use for the drums?
 
Top notch lyrics and songwriting.
 
cheers,
-Tom
 
 
 
 

Tom, your reply is very thought provoking, and greatly appreciated.  The grit that you hear on my vocal is just me with a little CA-2A.  The drums are AD2, and they are lightly compressed at the bus stage with the 1176 included in Splat.  At the break, there is no snare drum because it's replaced by the toms in that section for variety's sake.
 
I'm going for a punchy sound in this piece, so that's why it sounds as it does.  I can, however, hear the drums produced like you mentioned.  Well, the fat lady hasn't sung yet, so who knows what tomorrow brings?  Thanks again for all your help over the last few years.

That was different...    60's-electro-pop-rock perhaps?      
 
I kinda liked the delay on the vocals, it gave them a different feel.  Love how things are panned too.   About the only nit I would have is that the kick in the beginning has a lot of "click".   Once the vocals come in it's more masked so doesn't stand out.   
 

stevec
That was different...    60's-electro-pop-rock perhaps?      
 
I kinda liked the delay on the vocals, it gave them a different feel.  Love how things are panned too.   About the only nit I would have is that the kick in the beginning has a lot of "click".   Once the vocals come in it's more masked so doesn't stand out.   
 

Wow, you resurrected this from the graveyard.  Thanks for taking the time to respond!  I agree with you on the clickiness of the kick drum.  I'll fix that in the next version.  I wanted it to cut through, but I went a little too far.