My son is studying and I am tired of wearing cans.
Simple. Take them off, open them, and drink the contents.
(If the contents are not beer, say, they are in fact sardines or spam, slowly rise from a sitting position and find the nearest empty wastebasket. After vomiting, please DO NOT place the cans in the wastebasket. They are probably recyclable and should be properly stored until your local recycling pickup. If you do not benefit from a local recycling pickup, please consult your phone book for the nearest recycling center, place the cans in a storage unit of some type (plastic bags or cookie jars will work in a pinch) and bring the cans to the previously identified recycling center the next day. If you need to vomit more than once, then you either drank the ENTIRE contents (your taste buds should have helped you avoid this) or the sardines/Spam was bad to begin with.)