Like I said monitor both the brain and the output from Sonar and listen for a digital delay of your hit. 
You can do this by using the audio output of the Drums into your interface and use the direct monitoring to blend the computer with the input signal. 
What might happen is the whole band will play along with the delayed signal so you'll all be late together ;> 
You might need to nudge the recorded audio back a few ms to make it line up with the grid.  
 
When I record with real bands I avoid the metronome,, that takes all the fun out of playing. 
You can always have the tempo follow the song. There's no real need for a song to follow the grid unless your overdubing midi parts you want to quantize. 

camgrah86
Rob, what Roland interface was it that you were using? Live jamming through the PA was no issue for my drummer with a full band also being ran through 64 bit VST's, but he did complain about playing to the metronome specifically when recording with drums. I figured it was metronome timing denial on his part, lol. I was able to hold a beat to it when I tried it. How do I check to see the latency of it to get it under 2ms? I just want make sure I'm not terrorizing my drummer ears with unconfirmed latency, lol.

I had used a VS-700 and an OctaCapture. Both with same results. BTW the latency Sonar reports for these units is correct (no hidden buffers like in other units which are not considered).
 
Like Johnny V said above. Jamming may be fine as all adopt to the drummer but being really tight on the click with a latency of 6-8 ms (which is what I used to get with the Rolands) will feel odd and tightness hard to achieve.