Your producing art brother so as long as you put your heart into it, it can never be rubbish.
 
The melody may be out of your range but you could either transpose it or get someone else to sing it. I think your lyrics are good just maybe condense them into smaller phrases. Im as guilty as the next man for writing too many words and having to cut back when Im trying to write a catchy rhythm for them.
 
Either way stay true to your vision :-)
 
Si

I just meant minor re adjustment.  Maybe rethink the melody in terms of tonal centers (rather than diatonic).  For instance moving a pitch here or there to be a leading tone.  That would give a more distinct direction to the melody.  I didn't mean you shouldn't enter it.  But if you're using melodyne you can play around with the voice and melody and see what I mean.  Just a thought.  I'm no expert.  I submit songs that I think are good all the time to agents and publishers and feedback I get is just so different from how I hear the song.  That can be disconcerting.  Take ALL criticism with a pinch of salt like James said.

Thanks all.  I know what you're all saying.  I appreciate it and I appreciate your taking the time to listen.
Online singer websites?  Didn't know they existed.  Links?
 
JB

https://www.airgigs.com