All my mail lately are ads for cemetery plots. This can't be a good sign. Are they trying to tell me something? 

What do u you call a man with a shovel in his head?
 
 
 
 
Doug.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
What do you call a man without a shovel in his head?
 
 
 
 
 
 
Douglas.
 

I want to be buried in my vegetable garden, with a headstone that says "Eat Me".

Well, the way I see it, you're definitely going to need the plot (unless you're cremated).  So buy the plot and skip the shovel.  That way the person who buries you can buy the shovel and you save that money which you, in turn, can use to buy plugins.

jude77
Well, the way I see it, you're definitely going to need the plot (unless you're cremated).  So buy the plot and skip the shovel.  That way the person who buries you can buy the shovel and you save that money which you, in turn, can use to buy plugins.

 
    BRILLYANT!

Bayou,
 
Probably noticed that there are progressive rites of passage thru life in our semi civilized western culture.
 
Can't wait till you can buy beer legally. They card you every time you try to get a drink.
Then, they card you sporadic, not every time. They are trained to look for gray hair, excessive wrinkles, signs of old age.
 
Then they stop carding you. Sign that your journey through time is undergoing change. Always bought my beer from the Fred Meyer chain because there was a cute chick that always carded me. Wink and a smile.
 
Then you go into a Starbucks or the GoodWill and they ask you if you are eligible for a senior discount.
 
 As entropy progresses, they just look at you and give you the senior discount no questions asked.
 
Then the junk AARP mailers, life insurance fire sales for those about to croak.
 
Crowning glory is the cremation and burial mailers. Pay now, die later. They got your number.
 
By this time if you have lived life good, the cremation offers are less a wakeup call, trauma, than when they stopped carding you for beer.
 
Life and death such a beautiful mystery.
 
John
 

Well, they’ll stone you when you walk all alone
They’ll stone you when you are walking home
They’ll stone you and then say you are brave
They’ll stone you when you are set down in your grave
But I would not feel so all alone
Everybody must get stoned
 
 

 
Am I There Yet?

bitflipper
I want to be buried in my vegetable garden, with a headstone that says "Eat Me".

Bit, with all your computer experience, the stone should read "byte me" also.