• Songs
  • Thoughts on a New Song: Wine o'Clock
2016/10/27 15:59:19
AndyB01
OK you seem like a friendly and constructive bunch and I guess there's no point writing these songs if nobody hears them. I'm an occasional songwriter but I've been trying to finish this one for about two years. My piano chops are not the best so - hands up - this is built from EzKeys which will always split opinion but there it is; I'm not trying to dress it up as all my own playing or composition. However the lyrics and other instrumentation are my own hand and I did my best with the vocals (you can only work with what you're given). I was short on time so I know they can be better and yes, appalling mic technique I know. It really needs a female vocalist being a song about a single mum with a drink problem (inspired by a news story about working mums and their wine drinking habits).

Anyway, enough of my rattle, here's the link:

https://soundcloud.com/an...ne-oclock-full-version

All feedback appreciated. Andy
2016/10/27 16:15:23
ABull
Hey Andy, this is a good demo for your song -- it has a pleasing sound and your use of reverb is fine in your well balanced mix.  And, your vocals sound good, too.  
 
Allan
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2016/10/27 17:18:41
AndyB01
Thanks Allan, you're too kind. Yes reverb and a touch of delay covers a multitude of sins doesn't it. 🎤😊
2016/10/27 19:22:40
String Jammer
I like the song. Now turn up the vocals so we can hear the lyrics.
2016/10/27 22:16:57
emeraldsoul
Lyrics seem thoughtful, and I think the vocal performance is a keeper.
 
You've got the vocals panned pretty hard left? And the piano with chorus stuff panned right, pretty hard?
You might consider putting the vocals dead center so they can drive this bus.
 
Drums should come up a tad, particularly the snare. 
 
I like it! You have done well by this chord progression. I like the fade out, nice touch.
 
cheers,
-Tom
2016/10/28 01:40:48
AndyB01
@StringJammer - lol I turned them down as I thought the level was too high (and probably because I really don't like listening to my own singing). @Tom Thanks for your observations on the lyrics I do try and make them tell a story. Agree about the pan - that has not come out as I intended - I actually tripled the vocal track and nudged the other two left and right slightly to try and give a more natural feel and used pan to create more width but the result is not as I would have wanted it - that's a good call; I'll lift the snare too.
 
Thanks all - very much appreciated
 
Andy
2016/10/28 03:03:25
humanrock
Try to place drums, bass, vocals in the middle (center).
Too much side panning is going on...
This is what I think.
2016/10/28 08:31:33
dcumpian
This is a good song, very complete. As a demo, it works, as Allan says, but you can make it better with a remix.
 
Regards,
Dan
2016/10/28 13:11:40
Wookiee
A little remix regards the panning and some backing off of the vocal reverb I think you have a winner with this one.
 
Thanks for sharing.
2016/10/28 13:58:06
AndyB01
You guys are the best - I'm going to put all that advice to good use - just hope my production skills are up to the job. Thank you all for taking the time out to review and critique, I really do appreciate the feedback.
 
Andy
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