My Boss wants to be my Facebook Friend...

So my boss sent me a friend request on Saturday, and I'm not sure what to do. I use Facebook to keep in touch with old friends and for just sharing stupid family pics and vids and such. My boss is crazy. She is nice on the surface, but she's the executive director of the company, and she didn't get there by being nice. I have no doubt that she would absolutely use something I say on facebook against me if she could/wanted to. But I have supervision with her every Tuesday, and I see her all day most days, and I know she'll bring it up when we meet. Sometimes I come home and want to vent about a frustrating day, and I know I would say something that she would use eventually. So my plan is to wait for her to ask me about it, and then just explain that I want to keep professional/personal lives separate. At which point she'll bring up the fact that I'm already friends with several other members of the organization (because we really are friends) and try to guilt trip me into doing it. I don't think I can win, unless she completely forgets about it and never brings it up again (which I doubt very much). I know, I know, Facebook is cheesy, but its the only way I have to check in with friends accross the world from time to time. Any suggestions? Strategies?

What you're describing is unprofessional of her. Has she tried to friend your other friends from the organization? More important, are your other friends from the organization people you supervise or who supervise you? Ideally, the answer to that would be no. That would make it easy enough, and not uncomfortable, for you to do the "professional/personal lives separate" thing, which you can do in a friendly and ironic way, but still seriously, which would automatically put you on the high road professionally. She shouldn't be looking to pal around with her employees at that level, even virtually -- getting fired for something they found about you on the internets is a classic situation, and reason to remain anon. If she then tries to guilt trip you, well... as you said, she may be "crazy"... she may not be nice... she's definitely not acting too smart.

It's probably all innocent. But still.

jinga .. I wouldn't add her.. just say mrs jinga would get jealous and say you knew the other people before.. OR that you don't work with them directly so it's different. You can't win whatever ya do. if ya don't.. she'd think ya talking about her.. and if you do.. you might have to watch your P's and Q's..


We had someone at where I "work" work... post about having a drink one night.. then they didn't show for work the next day.. their boss heard from someone else probably because they were hung over (which was a VERY big assumption and she actually brought in a doctors note dated the day she'd rang in and they soon shut up). keep work and that VERY separate

A friend of a friend also got the sack, it was a forwarded email.. BUT it was a petition about something people in the UK with any common sense are mad about, anyways this email was forwarded a number of times, BUT they hadn't removed the previous email list.. and it showed this guys company email + his name.. someone complained about it and he got the sack for gross misconduct.. well along them lines.

me, I'm not on facebook as a lot of my friends dislike each other.. also the fact some people from years ago I'd rather not hear from..a fair few of them being throw away people who just turn up when they want something.

I agree with Marah, very strange (lack of) judgment call from your boss. I think you are right to bring it up with her face to face, and do bring it up even if she fails to mention it during your meeting, perhaps as a jocular aside towards the end of the meeting. I don't use Facebook myself, my particular group of friends tend to use an email list to communicate with each other although I can see the benefit of Facebook for photos and applications etc.

I have had a LinkedIn account for several years now, this is meant to be a business networking site but in all the years I have used it I haven't seen a single business networking opportunity or benefit worth having on it. Despite this, I constantly get LinkedIn requests from recruitment consultants I have either never heard of or might have had a single telephone conversation with. I always refuse their requests (after all they clearly are after the benefit of my network without having given or offered anything in return) with a polite note saying I only accept people I know and can vouch for as per the recommendations of the site. With regard to your boss, she is on an even less likely proposition as Facebook as I understand is a friendship site. Watch your back with her Jinga and good luck

Peace Love and Understanding

Garry Kiosk

ORIGINAL: Marah

What you're describing is unprofessional of her.

I agree 100%. I am a "boss" as I have a number of people that work for me and wouldn't think of barging into their personal lives like that.

Well there's a simple process here that you can execute.

Step 1; Accept her as a friend
Step 2; Three weeks later, after the/her novelty has worn off, remove her as a friend. (This latter task does not inform the other that they have been removed from a friends list)

Rodders
The saviour of anti-socialism.

Ask her "Hey are you hitting on me?" If she says Yes, then add her. Then sue her for $138.75.

ORIGINAL: Russell.Whaley
FWIW: I have a firm non-fraternizing rule for those who "rank" me.

for me thats an interesting one Russ, at my paid work.. someone I've known 25 years since childhood and his family etc. is higher up in the company, but I wouldn't work for their department because of that reason. Although it's not that bad as he works their all the time and when I'm working he's off.

ORIGINAL: jinga8
Any suggestions? Strategies?

probably someone else has said this, but since i'm lazy, here's my suggestion:

1. join "LinkedIn" like, right now. fill out your profile, blah blah blah. http://www.linkedin.com
2. respond to your boss by suggesting you "link" over LinkedIn instead.

LinkedIn is like facebook for professionals. it's a way to keep your professional and personal life separate, and you aren't completely rejecting your boss.

you should get a myspace page and really blow their minds

Facebook owns everything/has rights to everything that one posts there. The material is only deleted from they're system if they delete it.
Heard it this morning on CNN news..for what it's worth.

Now this morning(2-18) CNN reported Facebood was going to change that. Guess the heat worked?

I've always made a point of not hobnobbing with my supervisors. Now I am one, and still maintain that distance with my underlings. As soon as you get to be friends away from the job, and hand down an unpopular decision, you're immediately branded a major **** (hey that's MR. **** to YOU). Your boss is demonstrating a lack of tact and diplomacy

I just signed up for Facebook yesterday, strictly to play Mafia Wars. Who wants to join my Mafia? I only have one other member, I'll never be able to pull off major heists with such a small crew.

ORIGINAL: bapu

Create a seperate "work" facebook account. Add her. Game over.

Oh yeah, try not to post to the work facebook account but say once a year.

ORIGINAL: Jonbouy

Who wants to join my Mafia?

Hey what happened to good ol' extortion and blackmail...asking nicely will never catch on.

Well, I don't think I can extort people into joining my Family. If I could, I most assuredly would! You sound like a natural to me!

ORIGINAL: Jonbouy

ORIGINAL: mcourter

ORIGINAL: Jonbouy

Who wants to join my Mafia?

Hey what happened to good ol' extortion and blackmail...asking nicely will never catch on.

Well, I don't think I can extort people into joining my Family. If I could, I most assuredly would! You sound like a natural to me!

Of course you can't 'extort' members directly into the 'family', you use it as a tool to swell your numbers. It's a bargaining point, like OK you can't make the payment this week so we'll make an easy arrangement, yer money or yer wife or.......sign this membership agreement! There, it's the ubiquitous offer that can't be refused...

Man you'll get eaten alive out there if I gotta explain this stuff...

Thanks for looking out for an entry level street thug, JB! I have a long way to go. I'd let you recruit me, if you were a member